A Few Days In Heaven - Part Four

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Now, for the exciting conclusion...to "A Few Days In Heaven" already in progress...

Day 7 - Pacific Coast Highway

This morning, around 6 AM, I noticed that the sun was starting to come out (forgot to pull the drapes) so I thought that I'd head out in my robe and get some stunning pictures of the sunrise. Mission accomplished.

Upon my return to my room, I realized that I had forgotten to grab my room key before stepping out. Ironically enough, I was wearing my "I Am So SMRT" boxers, so I walked to the front desk, explained the situation, met with somebody by my room, showed them my ID, then went back to bed for a few hours. For breakfast, we stopped at one of the three Starbucks within shouting distance and I had me a caramel frappucino (apparently that's the cold coffee). For real food, we stopped at Jack-In-The-Box and I grabbed me a Sirloin Breakfast Burrito. It was surprisingly good. I hadn't had Jack in a while. You know, the whole e. coli thing or whatever…and the fact that they don't have them in Utah. Then we parked at a beach about twenty minutes from the hotel…and walked along the rocky crags of the coast to go Tide Pool Searching. Here are some of the lovely pictures…

Even the fire hydrants are dipped in gold

A tiny door by the Starbucks

Welcome to Laguna Beach!!!

At least they tried to warn us...

This was kind of a hint though...

"What'll we find back here?"

A little crab condo...

Why do I think this surfer guy was nuckin' futz?

Because this is a few feet away

After our journey, we had lunch at a 50's nostalgia diner called Johnny Rocket's. The food was great, simple, and effective. The service was smiley and fantastic. They were more than happy to fill my water every 60-80 seconds…because $teve doesn't do well in the sun sometimes…and this was one of those times. I ordered the Smokehouse…which was basically a BBQ Bacon burger with onion rings…and a side of onion rings…and half of Mrs. Wingman's Rocket Single (cheeseburger). Delicious. We listened to classic rock & roll and talked about the Grunion Hunt that night…among other things. In preparation for the hunt, we decided to nap to gather our strength. On the way to the room, we were lugging some towels & stuff back…and Mrs. Wingman dropped her spare pair of pants. Luckily, a Scottish gentlemen brought them back to her. "Excuse me Miss. Are these yours?" "Yeah sorry. I dropped my pants." "You gotta be careful who you say that to around here, lass." We laughed. Later that night, we went to have the seafood buffet at the hotel's restaurant (my treat because I'm a playa like that) and the Scottish gentleman happened to be the restaurant manager, so we talked about her dropping her pants in front of him & he enlightened us with a merry conversation and jokes for the evening. Good times…and the food was great…and the sunset was magnificent. It's not every day that you can pay hundreds of dollars for a meal…and honestly say that it was worth every single penny…but this was one of those days.

This falcon was just hovering on the wind...

So that I could set up for this picture

The Dr. Mookie Love Special Diet

Sushi, calamari, mahi mahi, shrimp, gouda cheese,

tuna, chocolate strawberries, cookies, truffles, greek

salad, and a caprese salad...with a bottle of water

We told them it was Mrs. Wingman's birthday

To cure our aching feet, we stopped by the hot tub after dinner before going to hunt the Grunion at Huntington beach, about 45 minutes from the hotel. We drove along the PCH…because we could…and arrived there on what was supposed to be the first day of the Grunion migration. For those who don't know, a Grunion is a long, skinny fish that reproduces by the females flopping up onto the beach with the waves (usually at night) leaving the eggs behind. Then the males flop up afterwards…and skee skee skee all up in the eggs…or so I’m told. This night, we only saw a few of them along the reflections of the shoreline…but we were assured that it's usually not for another few days where you can see them by the thousands flopping up on the beach. So there wasn't a whole lot of action to report…but we walked barefoot along the beach at night, then along the pier to talk to local fishermen, and I got pictures. Good times. Maybe next time we'll see something doing it Grunion Style…which would be something along the lines of masturbating on the beach separately. Doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun…but they're still around, so it must be effective. Anyway, back to the pictures…

The Wingman pissing into the ocean...

to attract the Grunion, I'm sure

"That's a nice Woody, you've got there!"

Being our last night at the Ritz-Carlton, we decided to go out with a bang by cracking open that bottle of red wine that I got as a greeting gift, eat some nachos, and all while relaxing at the hot tub to warm up from the surprisingly cold water during the Grunion Hunt. We all slept like babes that night…for as the Great Neil Diamond once said, "Red red wine goes to my head."

Day 8 - Leaving Heaven

The morning started with me waking up gingerly around…ten or so and watching some college basketball. I watched the Big South Conference championship game between Winthrop & UNC-Asheville. Winthrop ended up winning the game because guard Michael Jenkins simply could not be stopped…but what mesmerized me most about this game was the 7'7" center for UNC-Asheville named Kenny George. He is HUGE (as the picture suggests)!!! However, he doesn't seem to be physically fit…at least by basketball standards. He may have some kind of heart condition or something associated with giganticism (it's a real thing, Google it) but still. I had heard of this 7'7" guy playing at some Podunk college (sorry UNC-Asheville, but you're no UNC or Duke or Wake Forest or NC State or UNC-Charlotte or…) and wondering why no big school went after him, even as an experiment. Then I watched him play…and it appeared to me, that he simply didn't like to play basketball. He just kind of stood around and…well, looked big. He basically walked up and down the court…and I think he may have just accepted the scholarship to play ball…for the scholarship…and an education. Good for him if that's the case.

However, I've met a few gentlemen of his stature in person before…like Mark Eaton, Shawn Bradley, and Gheorge Muresan (have yet to meet Manute Bol but am incredibly optimistic). However, the other three at least feigned interest in the sport they were playing. This guy shows no such luster. I know ginormous guys don't HAVE to like to play basketball…but if you're not going to put forth an effort for the team…maybe you shouldn't have played. Maybe I'm completely wrong and he does have some kind of preexisting injury…then I look like a jerkass for calling him out on it. Either way, at least he's getting an education…and that's what's important with student-athletes anyway. Best of luck to you, Mr. George!!! Just some advice though, if you put a little effort in there, you're GUARANTEED an NBA contract for a few million dollars…and I don't care if you become CEO of Gallery Furniture or some other major business, you're not going to make money like that the first few years. Just something to think about. No need to thank me, just pay it forward…and play some center like you mean it. I can teach you.

Anyway, after that we did a late check-out of our rooms and decided to have lunch at the hotel restaurant. We ran into the Scottish gentleman again…and he was pleased to talk with us again for about 15-20 minutes asking us about our stay & telling us jokes and the like. I can't blame him. The three of us are pretty approachable people. The restaurant served me some lobster bisque and, quite possibly the finest burger of my life. It was a grilled sirloin burger with bacon, grilled onions, lots of bleu cheese, pineapple, and the usual tomato & lettuce with seasoned freedom fries. It was scrumdiddliumptious!!!

By the time they turned to me, the burger was half gone

After lunch, we went to fly kites on the beach…but for the first time all week, there was not enough wind…so we did some more Tide Pool Searching and then headed for home.

Me & my future rides

Along the way, we stopped in Hesperia for dinner at In-N-Out Burger. I had NEVER eaten at In-N-Out Burger before…but had heard the tales of their splendor. Also, the nurse / flight attendant that the Wingmans think if I ever met, we would marry (I think we'll call her Nurse to simplify from now on) suggested that we have the Animal Style Fries (she gives everything an animal style too…like Turtle Style, Grizzly Style, Grunion Style, etc.) Apparently, there are many different styles that you can order…but they basically only offer burgers, fries, and a drink on the menu. I went to the website to read up on the Animal Style, Grilled Cheese, etc. and found that they have this unmentioned code that simplifies the menu…which is always a good thing. Because if you give people too many options, they choose nothing. By the way, Animal Style Fries are fries with lots of grilled onions, cheese, and thousand island dressing. I highly recommend them…and the burger was absolutely fantastic…but it was still the 2nd best burger of the day…yet possibly my life too. My Wingman & I are absolutely convinced that if we opened a franchise in Utah, it would always be busy…because people literally drive all the way to Vegas for their fix. It's like legalized gambling & prostitution…that you can do three times a day…in Utah. That's how great it would be.

Anyway, after filling up there, we continued our drive home, stopping in Vegas for gas, and finally arrive home around 4 AM (thanks to Daylight Savings Time stealing an hour from us). I slept on Wingman's daughter's bed (she was with Buck, her grandpa) and quick summary of Day 9, I woke up, said goodbye, drove home in three hours (4 hour drive normally), and worked that night…because that's the employee I am. The Wingmans suggested that we stay in Heaven another week or so…but I had responsibilities…and so did they. DAMN YOU RESPONSIBILITIES!!! Anyway, it was a great trip…and I'm glad that I could hopefully give you guys & gals a taste of it…and inspire you to go on your own journeys. Let me know how they go. In the meantime, I'm gonna call it a day…and get back at you guys tomorrow with an update of news in my world…and the world around me. Have a great night!!! Get some sleep!!! I can't wait for my next vacation...leaving next week to celebrate Easter in Vegas...and see me a Peep Show or something...