Laboring Day

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,


Happy Labor Day to us all!!! Especially those of us laboring on Labor Day...and again to those ladies out there that go through labor for the good of the human species. An interesting fact about Labor Day is that it was started in 1882, but despite what Wikipedia will tell you, it wasn't started by the Centraul Labor Union...but an ill-fated group called the Central Organization of Women, which was an early version of the National Organization of Women. The purpose of the holiday was to install a weekday where husbands could spend an evening with their wives & not have other holiday obligations (like Christmas or Thanksgiving), give them a more widely recognized time to switch from white shoes to dark shoes, and also as a tribute to the process of childbirth and child rearing. Ladies, this one's for you!!! Oh...and in case you were wondering where I got this information from...that is a very good question.


This morning, I was doing my bachelor grocery shopping as usual...and I noticed a new tasty beverage on display - Mountain Dew Game Fuel. As you may already be aware, I'm a fan of Moutain Dew and it's experimental flavors (except that sour grape Pitch Black stuff they had for a few weeks). This citrus berry concoction is pretty good too...but the whole tie-in with Halo 3 is a bit of a turn-off in a way. The extreme sports angle is okay because it encourages kids to go out & burn off the calories of Code Red or Live Wire...but this Game Fuel encourages them to sit & drink and play video games all day. I will simply not stand for it!!! I will sit down and play my Madden 2008 where I get to pretend to play football for hours at a time and enjoy a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade.


Why do we watch baseball? - It has baffled me for a long time why people watch baseball on TV, at the stadium, on Sportscenter (usually to wait for the real highlights), or anywhere else in society as opposed to playing it. My friend Riot Poof answered me in quite possible the most prophetic way possible...for he too had contemplated this mystery. "People watch baseball because their father watched baseball. Their father watched baseball because his father watched baseball. His father watched baseball because we didn't have TV back then." Of course!!! It's all so clear now. That sums it all up. Further elaboration is not needed. However, I just wanted to still note that I don't like baseball because it promoted many violent gang-related themes.

• Players form an alliance with other players and wear similar clothing to show affiliation
• Wooden and aluminum bats are used...as well as small projectiles
• In urban areas, it promotes vandalism...by way of broken windows and usually a few clumsy kids running into and on top of vehicles
• Stealing home? Tell me that doesn't promote Breaking & Entering
• Terminology - What exactly is a Shortstop? Also, a bunt sounds to close to something that Snoop Dogg & Willie Nelson would share.

Anyway, again I'll be here until 1 AM working...on a day dedicated to give workers a day off...but it's okay...because I'm getting paid double for working it. It's still in the honor of Labor Day...because A) I have no wife (or anybody else) waiting for me at home to spend some time with them; B) I wear black shoes all day everyday because I lack fashion sense; and C) I always remember to thank the ladies for future generations. You girls rock!!! Such is the story of my life...and now, to talk about movies about other people's lives...

Biographical Movies

Medal Winners

Gold - Raging Bull (1980) - Martin Scorsese has yet to make a bad movie...that I've seen. With that being said, I haven't seen all of them. This biopic of former heavyweight boxer Jake LaMotta is a stirring epic into a complicated character played by Robert DeNiro in one of his best performances...if not THE best. Why does it get the Gold? Because the movie itself has no color...only shade...so I thought it would brighten it up a bit. Maybe I should have given it silver to keep with the color scheme...but it's too late now. It's on the internet...therefore it is fact. Another great biography by Scorsese that you should check out is "The Last Temptation of Christ" starring Harvey Kietel as Judas and Willem Dafoe as the creepiest Jesus EVER!!!

Silver - Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993) - If I'm ever flipping through the channels and see this movie on TNT or HBO or the countless other networks that play it, I will watch it until the end (or I have to go somewhere). It's a great movie with an incredible performance by Jason Scott Lee in the role that he was BORN to play. It's chuck full of the teachings of Bruce Lee and plenty of action & one-liners to keep you entertained as well. It's what I like to call...a Perfect Movie. So why silver? Fine, just imagine that this & Raging Bull are switched. Happy now? "I'm no bastard. I'm Bruce Lee."

Bronze - Ray (2004) - As I've probably stated before, I cried when I saw this movie in theatres...and on a date. There was no follow-up date...but there's an old saying, "If you spend $30 on a bad date...and never see that person again, then it was probably worth it." The movie though was great. Jamie Foxx is himself a very talented pianist, great actor, and really gave an incredible performance as Ray Charles Robinson, who sadly passed away during shooting. Also, this movie gets a medal for having BOTH Warwick Davis & Curtis "Booger" Armstrong.

Suggestion - The Notorious Bettie Page (2005) - From Mary Herron, director of "American Psycho" comes the tale of one of the hottest hottie to ever heat up, Bettie Page. A fairly naive curvy Southern Belle moves to New York and falls into the world of fetish photography in the 1950's. It's like a soggy dream come true. Gretchen Mol gives a great (and sexy) performance as the voluptuous dominatrix with a heart of gold...and I recommend that every man & woman see this movie...several times. Still waiting for the good Marilyn Monroe biopic...but this will tide me over...for now...

Flush It - Alexander (2004) - Again, I really haven't seen a 'horrible' biopic but this one had high aspirations from me...and it disappointed. Directed by Oliver Stone ("The Doors", "Natural Born Killers", "Any Given Sunday", basically classic movies), starring Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Christopher Plummer, AND Val Kilmer, epic battles of ancient civilizations, a dictator conquering the known world, it's was all set to be Oliver Stone's version of 300...but instead...it was Alexander, the movie that $teve bought in China for a buck...and felt ripped off. It was okay...but I...(sigh) never again.

Future Watch - Super Freak: The Rick James Story (2008?) - This may never happen for several reasons...but I'd support it. RIP Playa. God is Love. So is one of your biggest fans. I'm also anticipating a Hugh Hefner biographical movie...but hopefully the man will live to be a thousand years old. I heard that they just cast somebody to play Christopher Wallace in a Notorious B.I.G. movie as well, so I'll have to check that out. Other than that, I just hope that one day they could make an exciting, action-packed, XXX-rated biopic about ME. It's going to take a lot of work...but I'm off to a fairly lame start...so I'd better pick up the pace. Anybody interested in being a co-star? Ladies? I could make a stipulation that the actress that plays you would have to be one of Maxim's Hottest 100 or something...and we can leave out the nymphomania thing in the final script...or at least make it a deleted scene for the 2-disc collector's set...but we've got a while before we really need to worry about that. Anyway, have a great night everybody!!! See you at work tomorrow!!!