Dr. Love Goes Global

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As you may have noticed, I have added one of those cool ClustrMap things on my right taskbar...thingy. Why is it so cool? Because I can see where all the cool kids live that check out this blog...and apparently, Dr. Love has spread slowly across the globe...unbeknownst to me. We have visitors from England, India, Miami, and other exotic locations...just in the last two days. I had no idea it was so popular. (Wipes away a single tear) It's heartwarming in a way...that my random rants would be heard (read) by so many...thank you. Thank you!!!

Now that I have your attention, I would like to ask a favor. To meet the wonderful people who actually read this thing...and get to know them...if I don't already know them. So what I want to ask...is that you leave a comment on this post with your name (or profile or whatever), where you're from, what your favorite part about this blog is, and anything else that you'd like me to know (hobbies, interests, body dimensions, whatever). I think that would be radical. Yes, I said radical. I say it a lot. Again, I'd just like to thank you all for reading...(sniff) and making my life worth living...(snort, sob) THANK YOU!!! Okay, enough of that emotional crap, let's get back to the funny.

Facial Hair Afficionado - It's been almost a year since I first decided to grow facial hair (results still under review) but these guys take facial hair to a whole new level. In Brighton, England (not the ski resort) they held the World Beard & Mustache Championships. The man with the Tower Bridge on his chin to the left is German, Elmar Weiser. The link has more pictures if you're interested. I just thought it was kind of cool.

Shrimp Boat Captain Delivers Baby at Sea - In Freeport, Texas, the cook of a shrimp went into labor...so Captain Ed Kiesel grabbed a roll of paper towels, a first aid kid, & a bottle of Captain Morgan...and did what one must do in that situation...delivered the baby himself. The mother's name was Cindy Preisel...and if she pulls a Denzel's mama & names the baby after the person that delivered her baby, that means the name could be Kiesel Preisel. That would be funny...for about five minutes. Hopefully, she won't do such a thing. Stay tuned. In all reality, you should check out the link. It's a pretty good story. He even had to administer CPR for 20-25 minutes. We Salute You, Captain Kiesel!!! Good show.

Where the f**k is Appalachian State? - In case you were wondering, it's in Boone, North Carolina. The small town named after the best cheap wine found at your local grocery store...but why do I ask this? Because this weekend, their college football team upset #5 ranked Michigan in one of the biggest upsets in sports history (allegedly). Michigan dropped out of the Top 25...and basically lost any hope for a National Championship game...which is sad because they were my pick to win it this year. Sorry for the jinx, guys. I knew I should have picked Rutgers (located in Camden, New Jersey). Anyway, I just thought that I'd let all my college football fans out there know...well, random trivial knowledge about where that humongous victory party noise was STILL coming from. Unfortunately, Appalachian State doesn't qualify for bowl games...but they may have a movie made about them in a few years. Don't steal my idea, Brian Grazer!!! Patent pending!!!

Milla Jovovich Movies

Medal Winners - In case you were wondering why I'm doing this, I have...a bit of a thing for Milla Jovovich. Like...a crush since "Return to the Blue Lagoon" (1991) kind of thing. Yeah, I was ten...and I guess I've had a thing for older women (or younger) ever since. Don't judge me. You've done it too.

Gold - Fifth Element (1997) - You may remember earlier entries where I discussed the naming of my future children and this movie was discussed...because I liked the names Korbin (Bruce Willis) and Lelu, the Perfect Being (accurately portrayed by the Ukrainian goddess Milla Jovovich). This is another movie that I would deem Perfect...and would watch in its entirety whenever I stumble upon it. Gary Oldman is a bad guy. Bruce Willis is a bad ass. Milla is a bad ass. By the way, she was married to director Luc Besson at the time. This will be a recurring theme in her movie career...but it gets her top billing, I guess. That's Hollywood!!! By the way, anybody who's interested in starring in MY movie...you may want to pay attention. Anyway, the movie is great. If you haven't seen it, I'm sorry for you.

Silver - Resident Evil Trilogy (2002-2007) - Again, Milla is a bad ass...and even though I don't recall seeing the entire second movie (my dad's kind of a wuss), I do have it in the mail (thanks Blockbuster) and I'm ready for the release of the third chapter. Zombies really don't freak me out or anything...so I can simply focus on those eyes...as they aim an exploding arrow at a gaggle of zombies. KABOOM!!! No need for one-liners with Milla. Maybe just a subtle lick of the side of her mouth...that's all you need. Oh yeah, she currently engaged to the director Paul W.S. Anderson. I warned you that it was a recurring theme...but whatever works...

Bronze - The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999) - I don't care what anybody else says. I like this movie...and not just because Milla Jovovich is in it...but because Dustin Hoffman is in it too...and it's about crazy people...and Middle Age battles. I think it's a good movie. Not a great one...but a good one. I also like the fact that she sports the bowl haircut...and still looks hot. I saw another movie where the chick from Joyride (Leelee Sobieski) played Joan of Arc...not as good. Anyway, that's my word.

Suggestion - Kuffs (1992) - Okay, she has started in a lot of good movies with an incredibly small part - "He Got Game", "Dazed & Confused", "Zoolander", and "Chaplin" but "Kuffs" is one of my personal favorite...because it's pretty damn funny. Remember when Christian Slater was allegedly hot stuff? Yeah, this is my 2nd favorite Slater movie behind "True Romance" and I think that you should check it out if you haven't seen it. Basically, he's a slacker who inherits his brother's SFPD district...and the hilarity ensues as he tracks down his brother's killer. Oh yeah, Milla's his girlfriend...and it starts out with the credits rolling and she's dancing in her underwear...so yeah. Enjoy.

Flush It - .45 (2006) - I stumbled upon this at Blockbuster and thought "Wow, this looks like it could be good." It had her on the cover...and a title like .45 would imply some shoot 'em up action...possibly. Basically, it was a crude & horrible 'adventure' (but not really) about a shitty gun & drug runnin' boyfriend (Angus MacFayden) and casual appearances by Stephen Dorff & Aisha Tyler and...it just sucked. Don't see it. For the love of everything holy, don't waste your time. Oh, but there is some nudity...and she says the F-word a lot...so it's good for that.

Future Watch - Her bearing my child...and Azazel? (2009?) - Okay, maybe the first one is a little bit of a stretch since we haven't met.........yet...but the movie that may allegedly be in production at some time in the future (vauge enough?), is directed by Paul Verhoeven ("Starship Troopers" to "Showgirls" to "Robocop" to "Basic Instinct") and set in 1876 about a Moscow investigator investigating an apparent suicide & leads into an international conspiracy. Hopefully it's a mix of his previous work (mostly Showgirls & Basic Instinct for obvious reasons) but it's going to be hard to explain the giant robot insects in 1876. Perhaps Azazel is some Russian word meaning "Transformers" and it's going to co-star the Insecticons. Oh well, time will tell.

Thanks again for reading...and don't forget to leave me a comment. You guys & gals ROCK!!!