Planning for the Unknown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a pretty good day at work. Bubbles stopped by for lunch and she, the Mad Scientist, & I went to Granato's Deli for lunch. They're pretty good...but take a long time to fix a sam'ich. It's all good though because I got to hang with the homeys for a while. Other than that, nothing too eventful except everybody asking me if I heard from Vegas yet. Oh...and the Mad Scientist got a fortune that he says was for me, reading "You will find a good paying job." We decided to split it down the middle...so our fortunes read "You will good" and "Find a paying job." Awesome.

Last night after work, JJ stopped by to say hi and we caught up on stuff like her going to the Cure concert the other day, her move (and subsequent drama) to Denver, my possible move to Vegas, all the usual stuff...and she's borrowing my Season 2 of "Big Love" because she has some kind of obsession with polygamists. She was telling me that she was glued to CNN for a few weeks over that whole Texas compound thing last month. We all have to have a hobby, I guess. I have movies and basketball, she has polygamy and designer shoes. After she left to pick up some friends from the airport, I was insanely bored until I decided to go to sleep. How bored was I? I watched most of "Sleepless in Seattle" on TV before deciding to get my rest for what's hopefully a busy week ahead of me. The movie is cheesy...but has a great soundtrack at least. Still haven't heard from Bubbles...but hopefully she's doing okay today & just had too good of a time to answer her phone. We've all been there...a few times.

This morning, I woke up, did some laundry, and have basically been looking over my apartment cataloguing what's going to Vegas with me...and what's probably staying or parting with at a yard sale in the near future. I'll keep you posted...and cut you a great deal. Know anybody who needs a surprisingly comfortable sofabed? Cream leather love seat? (Leather and Vegas summers don't seem like a good idea) A crapload of engineering and marketing school books? Let me know. Tonight, I have a tentatively scheduled blind date...and since I'm in the area, I might just hang out with my brother & his family for Memorial day. We'll see I guess. In the meantime, since I have little else to say, here's another Movie List.

Vegas Movies - Since I've been talking about this damn place for almost a year solid in one way or another…I figured it was about time that I did a list for movie set in Sin City (though oddly enough, not "Sin City"). This is of course not inclusive of all Vegas movies (or colorful backdrops) but just some of my favorites…and I purposely left out all the Nicolas Cage movies…because half the movies that he's in revolve around this place ("Honeymoon in Vegas", "Leaving Las Vegas", "Con Air", "Snake Eyes", "Next", etc.)

Medal Winners

Gold - Ocean's Trilogy (2001-07) - If you haven't, check out the original film from the 60's starring the Rat Pack & Angie Dickinson…but I'm guessing that most of you have seen the remakes this past decade and loved them as much as I did. Basically, it's gotten to the point where the casting call is "Get every cool actor in Hollywood, add a few hotties, dress them all in the best outfits possible, oh…and see if you can have them steal something big too." I really like them because they're quirky, glitsy, and just plain cool…and a man can dream to be that one day. Maybe I should get into the thievery business. We'll see how that goes when I'm in Vegas. Still think that drinking beers & playing pool with George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon (only edged out Pacino because Al seems like a mean drunk) would be the coolest…but then again, that may never happen. Again, a guy can dream. Besides, they're those movies that you can enjoy watching multiple times because you catch something extra each time. That's a great element to have in a flick.

Silver - Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) - Based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel and starring Benecio Del Toro with a moustache and Johnny Depp with a comb-over, this movie is just great debaucherous, drugged-out fun. Basically it's Thompson's ode to the turning point in hippie culture and all this other stuff (haven't actually read the book but I'm sure the Mad Scientist or JL Clyde can fill you in with a better understanding of the actual literature) but yeah, it's just a lot of wild & crazy stuff with a lot of inner monologue and rants and basically the stuff that you read on this blog…but more psychedelic & insightful.

Bronze - Bugsy (1991) - The story of Ben "Bugsy" Siegel and his interesting transition from mob boss to founder of the glitsy Las Vegas style is a movie that I seriously enjoy…and I'm not really sure why. Warren Beatty is Bugsy, Harvey Kietel is his right-hand man, Annette Bening is his mistress, even Sir Ben Kingsley makes an appearance as a mob boss, there's a few great scenes…but it's really the story about a man who has a vision…and then basically tries to BS his way out of a mafia debt…which usually ends badly. I think it was nominated for Best Picture or something when it came out. Check it out. I'm sure that I've mentioned it before in my Gangster Movie List. This just barely beat out the Martin Scorsese classic "Casino" (1995) starring Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Sharon Stone, and a bunch of other Scorsese standards. Lots of great one-liners in that movie…and I still use "Settle out of court" whenever I can…and it comes up a surprising amount. There's a lot of holes in that desert...

Suggestion - Viva Las Vegas (1964) - Why do I suggest it? Because it's Elvis and Ann Margaret (greatest costar with Elvis ever & who's still hot though well into her sixties) in the story of race car driver Lucky Jackson who while getting his car fixed meets the lovely Rusty Martin (Margaret) and then the usual bad guy comes in and tries to win the race & steal his girl…but he's Elvis…and this is Vegas, baby. Also, feel free to check out "Fools Rush In" (1997) with Matthew Perry & Salma Hayek for a romantic-comedy that's actually kind of funny or "Swingers" (1996) if you're into the whole vintage Vince Vaughn thing. There's also the iconic "National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation" (1997) with Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, and Randy Quaid…oh, and Wayne Newton. Check them all out if you haven't already.

Flush It - Lucky You (2007) - Okay, so I was bored as hell on that cruise that I took last November…and it was bad weather on our day at sea…so I set in the room for a few hours and watched this show about a professional poker player (Eric Bana), who meets a waitress (Drew Barrymore), falls for her, and apparently keeps losing his & her money…yet still keeps at it. Basically, he has an addiction…but it's his job…so he keeps at it…and there's the love interest involved…and a rival that tries to spit some life lessons at him (Robert Duvall) and it's really just a movie that's hard to watch really. That's why it beat out "Showgirls" (1995) because at least in that movie I get to see Elizabeth Berkley & Gina Gershon…a LOT of Elizabeth Berkley & Gina Gershon.

Future Watch - What Happens In Vegas… (2008) - Okay, so I'm not really going to see this movie probably…because it has Ashton Kutcher (who punk'd me in a dream) and Cameron Diaz (what happened?) and it just seems pretty lame. Who knows? I may rent it. What I'm really looking forward to is when I move down there and meet the filmmakers making "Ocean's 14" (2010?) and they write in a part for me…as the 14th member of the crew. I'd be the tall cousin of the twins from Utah (Casey Affleck & Scott Caan) that has to come in for some reason. I don't write the scripts. I'm just an actor. Probably to bring in some young, hot blood into the mix since most of the stars are in their forties…but I'll admit, still dashing & charming individuals. I'd fit in nicely with the crew. Also, I look forward to starring in my own romantic comedy (2009?) while I'm down there…so we'll see how that goes. I'll let you know when I start casting for costars.

Have a great weekend everybody...or probably more accurately, hope you all had a great weekend!!! Play safe & have fun!!! I'll let you know how the date went...or if it went. What the heck is it with me and dating? It just never seems to work. Oh well, maybe this will end the streak. You never know unless you try, right? Wish me luck.

Hippos, Dragonflies, & Boobies

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday, my mom called to inform me that my Aunt Pat was being taken to the hospital because she had some internal bleeding & ulcers from around her stomach…so I was obviously a little worried. No need to fear though. I went and saw her this morning and she's doing fine now…and will be checking out of the hospital later today. The good news is that my mom got to spend the night here in town (aunt's ride home), so we hung out and talked about my move to Vegas & all the usual stuff. We had fun watching the news (both Fox 13 & "The Colbert Report") and breakfast this morning at the Belgian Waffle House. Delicious. Also, Bubbles was back in town and partying at Murphy's but I had to pass…due to my visitor…but we'll probably do something similar tonight. JJ's in town now too after a delayed flight. Good times. Oh…and my blind date called to reschedule for tomorrow night…so we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, here's some news.


Drive-By Special - Down at Max Motors in Butler, Missouri…they have a promotion that has quadrupled sales over the last few days. With every purchase of a new or used vehicle this Memorial Day Weekend…the dealership will throw in your choice of a $250 Gas Card…or $250 credit at a local gun shop. Now that's one-stop shopping. Of the more than 30 buyers at the time of this report, all but two have gone with the gun credit. Owner Mark Muller explains his reasoning for the promotion, "We did it because of Barack Obama. He said all those people in the Midwest, you've got to have compassion for them because they're clinging to their guns and their Bibles. I found that quite offensive. We all go to church on Sunday and we all carry guns. I've got a gun in my pocket right now, (Shows off his Kel-Tec .380 pistol) I have a rifle in my truck. We've got to shoot the coyotes out here, they're attacking our cows, our chickens. We're not clinging to nothing. We're just damn glad to live in a free country where you can have a gun if you want. This is the way it ought to be." See? Barack's already stimulating the economy. It's part of his whole "Reverse Psychology Stereotype Approach" for Bush's Stimulus Package, where he'll point out a stereotype of a group of people…and they take it to the bank. Not because it's a stereotype…but because it's practical to their environment & culture. Wait for another off-the-collar remark about Immigrant Workers…and watch a sales increase in tortillas & tequila…or Inner-City African-Americans…and watch the sales increase of menthol cigarettes and fried chicken. Even my fellow Utahns…and stock in Jell-O, cheesy potatoes, and baby formula will go through the roof. Not because they're stereotypes…but because they're so damn delicious (yes, even the baby formula). Or more comments about Elitists in Washington…and watch the steadily increasing sales of hybrid cars, beluga caviar, and prostitution. I'm not an economist (gasp!) but this just might work. Good luck, Senator Obama!!!


New Endangered Species Class - The Wildlife Conservation Society has released a list of the "Rarest of the Rare," a dozen animals most in danger of extinction. You may be able to still see a few of these in captivity (San Diego Zoo?) but I thought that I would give each member of this exclusive and beautiful list their own spotlight on this entry…so if you'll please, help us to save the following animals.


Abbott's Booby - This majestic seabird (obviously named by a sex-starved sailor named Abbott in the 19th century) breeds on Christmas Island, a remote Australian island in the Indian Ocean, where everyday is Christmas. The introduction of yellow crazy ants (they're real, I checked) to Easter Island (where it's always Easter?) has severely altered their nesting habitat. Unfortunately, relocation to Mother's Day Island proved unsuccessful but I believe efforts are being taken to establish a small sanctuary on Thanksgiving Island…but that may just be a trap by the locals for a great feast.



Addax - A nocturnal antelope species with long spiral horns, found in the sand dunes of the Sahara Desert. Gee, I wonder why this mammal would be nocturnal. Oh yeah, because it's in the Sahara Desert. Addax sounds familiar to me…like he was a character on Tron or some other sci-fi movie. Any ideas? Oh well, I'll Google it.



Angel Shark - Bottom-dwelling, nocturnal predators once common throughout the Northeast Atlantic Ocean and the Mediterranean and Black seas, but now critically endangered. The sharks were long considered of no commercial interest, but in 1978, Michael Wagner, a fish processor in Santa Barbara began to promote angel sharks and 310 metric tons were taken off California in 1984. The fishery devastated the population and is now regulated…soon to be halted, I'm guessing.



Bengal Florican - A large terrestrial bustard bird native to Cambodia, Nepal, Vietnam, and India. Don't feel bad. I thought it was a kind of tiger too. Oh…and in case you were wondering what a Bustard Bird is…they're the large birds that walk on land mostly and tend to be in dry open areas.



Black-Faced Lion Tamarin - A small minstrel-like primate that sleeps in tree holes dug out by woodpeckers and feeds on insects, fruit, and plants. This species was discovered on the island of Superagui, Brazil, in 1990…but now, there are only about 400 left in the wild.



Burmese Roofed Turtle - One of Myanmar's seven native turtles, once abundant in the major rivers of central and southern Burma, threatened by hunting and egg poaching….and those hurricanes probably didn't help too much.



Dragonflies of Sri Lanka - Of the 53 endemic species of dragonfly found in Sri Lanka, at least 20 are threatened. Meanwhile, the Mexican Staring Tree Frog of Sri Lanka remains at large (sorry, it's a South Park joke). Maybe we should just…give them some of ours. Would that work? I'm sure that we could spare a few.



Golden Arrow Poison Frog - A beautiful and deadly amphibian native to Panama, threatened by a highly-infectious fungal disease (warts?). Then again, maybe that poison coursing through him…and piss & vinegar in his veins have made him a horrible neighbor in the jungle…and the primates of the region are wizening up…and just crush them with rocks to avoid contact. What will the native tribes use to poison their arrows now? Might I suggest oil from the equipment used to deforest your land? Make that stuff work for you a little bit.



North Atlantic Right Whale - Hunted since the 10th century, only about 350 of these slow-moving, hundred-ton cetaceans remain. FYI - If you're wondering why they're called Right Whales…it's because whalers thought the whales were the "right" ones to hunt, as they float when killed and often swim within sight of the shore. That's not a joke…yet I still giggled a bit. Does that make me evil?



Ricord's Iguana - A reptile native to two isolated locations in the arid southwestern Dominican Republic. Honestly, there are only so many that one man can take care of. Perhaps Ricord should get some help…and maybe that will help them thrive…but maybe he prefers living on his own isolated islands…and you can't hate on that.



Pygmy Hippopotamus - A small hippo from the Upper Guinean Forest of Liberia, Guinea, Ivory Coast, and Sierra Leone (you know, Diamond Country), they actually used to have species all along the Mediterranean as well…on islands such as Crete and Sicily. In 1927, Harvey Firestone of Firestone Tires presented Billy the pygmy hippo to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge. Coolidge donated Billy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park. According to the zoo, Billy is a common ancestor to most pygmy hippos in U.S. zoos today. Quite the gift, the Shetland Pony of River Horses (trust me, it's Latin).



Sumatran Rhino - Also known as the hairy or Asian two-horned rhinoceros, fewer than 300 survive today in the subtropical and tropical dry forests of Indonesia and Malaysia (but not Sumatra). The last descendant of the Woolly Rhino may be on its way to joining the ancestor.



Anyway, sorry if that was a little depressing…but I just thought I'd give them a little notoriety before they're gone. Can't wait to hang out with Bubbles, JJ, and anybody else who may be willing to party tonight. Oh...and my nephew Vinny had his checkup yesterday. He's 14 pounds, 3 ounces and 23 inches tall already (my 18-month old niece Kairi was 28 inches in March) and the doctor says he already has above average intelligence for his age. Not sure entirely what that means...except maybe that he has good genes. Have a groovy weekend everybody!!! Have fun & be safe!!!

I Have A Map

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night, I watched a movie that seriously didn't need to be made…and it was really, really boring despite being a comedy from Happy Madison productions (Adam Sandler's good ones & "Grandma's Boy"). I talking of course about "Strange Wilderness" starring Steve Zahn, Jonah Hill, and…well, there's a brief cameo by Robert Patrick. Now, it's the usual crude & somewhat offensive humor that you would expect (and I usually love) but it was just…I don't know, ridiculously stupid throughout. The plot didn't even make sense…and I think they realized that at the end…and so the ending is just a blooper. I mean…really? Yeah, I would pass on this one. The only part where I even laughed a little bit…is when I said moments before Steve Zahn, "I have a map." Hence the title of this post…and it wasn't even that funny…because they dragged it out from there. Luckily, I only wasted about 80 minutes of my life on this movie.

This morning, I awoke to a phone call from my blind date…and you'll never guess what happened…something came up. Surprise, surprise. Oh well, we're very tentatively scheduled for next weekend…but if I get this Vegas job, I'll give her a call, let her know that a career opportunity has come up in Vegas, and wish her well in her journey. Her loss really. I'm actually a really nice guy…even when I don't expect to get any. Oh well, plenty of fish in the sea. Just frees me up for tonight anyway with Bubbles & JJ in town to see family for Memorial Day Weekend…and plenty of other ladies wanting to hang out with my sexy ass. Woo-hoo!!! Agh…sweet delusion…now for the news.

Save Me Jebus!!! - Grant Stubbs and Owen Wilson (not that Owen Wilson) were two pilots flying over the South Island of New Zealand when their microlight airplane ran out of fuel…causing their engine to sputter and die. Stubbs said, "My friend and I are both Christians so our immediate reaction in a life-threatening situation was to ask for God's help." Wilson added, "There was an instantaneous answer to prayer as we crossed the ridge and there was an airfield — I didn't know it existed till then." After Wilson glided the powerless craft to a landing on the grassy strip, the pair noticed they were beside a 20-foot-tall sign that read, "Jesus is Lord — The Bible." "When we saw that, we started laughing." Coincidence? You be the judge. Signs are everywhere. All you have to do is keep your eyes open and your hopes up. Either way, I'm glad that those two landed safely.

Cold Cock Museum - Sigurdur Hjartarson is founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Reykjavik, which offers visitors from around the world a close-up look at the long and the short of the male reproductive organ, the penis. His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull's penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species. The largest, from the aptly-named sperm whale, is 70 kg (154 lb) and 1.7 meters (5.58 ft) long…or roughly the size of the average human. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is just 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass. Please keep your snickering to yourself. This is educational. One species conspicuous by its absence is homo sapiens, but that may soon be rectified since a German, an American, an Icelander and a Briton have promised to donate their organs after death. The American, 52-year-old Stan Underwood, supplied a written description of his penis (nicknamed "Elmo") for display alongside a life-size plastic mold of the member as well as his pledge to donate it. The specimens, most of which were donated by fishermen, hunters and biologists, are kept in glass jars of formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the wall, creating an atmosphere that is part science lab, part trophy room. Hjartarson has paid for only one -- an elephant penis nearly 1 meter long that hangs, stuffed and mounted on a wooden board, in the museum's "foreign section."

He said he began collecting penises 24 years ago, when working as a school administrator, with little notion he would one day be running a museum devoted to the subject. "It was just a hobby," he said, adding that the collection was relegated to his office until the inception of the museum. "They were not on display in the sitting room." That's ugh…quite the hobby you have there, sir. Can you imagine walking into his office as a school administrator with preserved penises on his shelves…and probably on his desk? Anyway, congratulations on finally turning a profit on this unique museum. By the way ladies, more than 60% of visitors are female. Is anybody surprised? They shouldn't be. What would it be like to be a tour guide at a museum like that? "Over here, we have the member of the very rare panda. Note the pristine condition…for during its seven years of life despite coaching and a strict workout regimen, it was never properly used. Now, we have a special treat for you ladies. In this room ever here, I'm honored to show you one of the finest human specimen…still alive…and in the wild. BEHOLD!!!" Then I'm immediately fired for public indecency and face a few years in prison for trying to pick up tourists.

Panda Update - The Chinese government had sent 4,500 kg of bamboo, 1,050 kg of bamboo shoots and huge quantities of apples, soybean, eggs, milk powder and other food items in emergency rations to feed the giant pandas at the Wolong Conservation & Research Centre in Chengdu. They have to do this because the pandas in captivity can't find food themselves and are prized commodities of the government and Chinese people and the workers at the center & bamboo collectors have been a little distracted by a still-climbing death toll of that whole earthquake thing last week. Eight pandas, chosen to entertain tourists during the Olympic Games, have been sent to the provincial capital of Chengdu and will be flown to Beijing on Saturday. Thus is the premise of Samuel L. Jackson's latest action movie, "Pandas on a Plane." (2009?) - "WE'VE GOT TO GET THESE MOTHER F**KING PANDAS OFF THIS PLANE!!!" "Sir, we'll be landing in Beijing as scheduled in about twenty minutes." "DID I STUTTER MOTHER F**KER??? (Pull out a glock) LAND THIS BITCH!!! THEY'RE GETTING HUNGRY…AND I AIN'T GONNA FEED 'EM!!!" "Sir, again, we have over a dozen trained veterinarians on board to feed…" "ARYANS??? ON THIS PLANE??? DAMN COMMUNIST PANDA SMUGGLERS!!!" Then starts the action scene…but I'll leave you all with that image of Sam Jackson busting a cap in a panda's ass…just in time for Kung Fu Panda to be released worldwide. You're welcome, kids.

Anyway, that oughta do it for today. Still have no weekend plans really…but I'm sure that something surprising & fun will come up. For example, at work today it's Hawaii Day…and you know what that means…everybody gets lei'd!!! Have a groovy day everybody!!!

Put the Bunny in the Box

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole lot has happened since last time. I worked until late, then was back here in the morning. Filly, JL Clyde, and most of the other ladies here at work have told me that they're going to miss me WHEN I move to Vegas (no, not official yet, but we're optimistic) but they're very supportive of the move. I even spent the greater part of my shift checking out apartments in the area and sent a list to Bubbles so that she can tell me if she's already checked them out. Such a good friend to help me out…but I'm there for her when she needs me too. Karma!!!


I may also have a blind date tomorrow night. A few weeks ago, my mom tried to set me up with the daughter of a coworker…and after my mom proving her limited technological knowledge and giving me a few wrong numbers, I was finally able to get a hold of her yesterday…and we'll see how it works out. You may be asking yourself…or me indirectly, "Why are you going on a blind date when you're probably only going to be living here for another two weeks or so?" The answer is simple. I'm a cheap date…and a lot of fun. She apparently got out of a bad relationship…and at the very least, I can show her that there are still a few great nice guys out there (though finding us is like looking for diamonds) and make her smile a bit over a casual dinner with no strings attached. Now tell me that's not a tempting offer, ladies. By the way, if you're interested, drop me a line.


This week at work has been Associate Appreciation Week…and today has a Japanese theme, so they have a room set up for karaoke and sodoku while they serve you edamame and fortune cookies. My cookie message for the day is a great one - "You are in for a very pleasant surprise….in bed." REALLY? Sweet. I can't wait. Also, Lilie finally came back from her two week vacation of France…and she told me that she had some catching up to do on my blog. Boy, is she going to be disappointed…here's some news.


Burger Decadence - How much would you pay for the world's greatest hamburger? Now, think about it for a second. What constitutes the world's greatest hamburger? How about a Kobe beef patty…from cattle that are massaged by big-breasted Japanese women in a manner passed down through the millennia…and fed nothing but sake and beer. I am NOT joking. Top it off with black truffles, seared foie gras, aged Gruyere cheese, wild mushrooms…and fleck of gold leaf served hot on a brioche bun. That's right. GOLD on your burger. Any guesses on the price yet? $100? Try higher…and yes, I know that we're in a bit of a recession. Well, at the Wall Street Burger Shoppe, they just raised the price of this burger from $150 to $175, just so that they could say that they have the most expensive burger in town (which apparently has some kind of appeal to crazy Wall Street types…something to keep in mind when they're handling your 401k). Yes, $175 plus tax & gratuity…so essentially just over $200 if you're a good tipper. That had better be one damn fine burger. I wonder if it comes with free lube.


Captain Monty? - A pilot's nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant has ended with both suspended and under arrest. Jeffrey Paul Bradford and Adrianna Grace Connor, both 24-year old employees of Pinnacle Airlines Inc., were at a diner on Sunday night before they apparently decided to take a walk. "They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially," said Sgt. Richard Brandt. "That's the best answer they had." Things went awry when people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman. A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight. His only attire was a pair of flip-flops and a wristwatch…and probably a smile. Both were charged with indecent exposure and public drunkenness. Police also said that Connor had taken a flashlight from a neighbor's vehicle (apparently Capt.. Bradford wasn't enough for her). See what happens when the pilot isn't allowed to leave the cockpit (hehehehe) mid-flight to renew their membership into the Mile High Club? They bring their kookiness down to Earth. Why else would you have a copilot? Or an auto pilot? Anyway, maybe it's just me…and I'm glad that my buddy & loyal blog reader Captain Monty has yet to be caught in such circumstances…but apparently he's a little craftier than these two.


National Treasure 3: Search for Lincoln's Gold - A U.S. historian pleaded guilty on Tuesday to a federal charge stemming from stealing letters penned by former U.S. Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. 51-year old Edward Renehan admitted stealing an 1840 letter written by Lincoln and two by Washington written in 1791 and 1778. Renehan later sold them to a New York gallery for $97,000, according the U.S. Attorney's Office in Manhattan. Renehan, who has written six books including one on the Kennedys, stole the letters from the Theodore Roosevelt Association, a New York-based historical and cultural association where he had been a director. He pleaded guilty to one count of interstate transportation of stolen property and faces a maximum of 10 years in prison. Renehan had suffered from bipolar disorder that was undiagnosed during 2005 and 2006 at the time of the thefts, his lawyer Peter Brill said. There was no word as to whether he found the clues on the letters that he was looking for to find the Free Mason's Gold or Cibola, the Lost City of Gold…but I'm sure that his hot girlfriend & clever sidekick are already working on a way to get him out of custody and back on the trail. On that note, here's my next Movie List…


Nicolas Cage Movies - Sure he may be a member of the Coppola family…but he's still been in a lot of good movies using a different name so that he didn't have to ride coattails (like Drew Barrymore). Kudos.


Medal Winners

Gold - Con Air (1997) - This is one of those movies that are on TNT or TBS or some other cable network just about everyday…and if I'm flipping through the channels, I basically MUST watch it. Holy crap, I just realized that this movie ends in Vegas too…to join his other features like "Honeymoon in Vegas" & "Leaving Las Vegas" and let's not forget "Snake Eyes" or that he was a magician at a small Vegas casino in "Next", damn that's a lot of Vegas inspired movies for one man to have. Anyway, though it's your usual badass Jerry Bruckheimer produced movie full of chases, one-liners, explosions, clear-cut heroes & villains, and a star studded cast including John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, John Cusack, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, and others. Great action flick…and it might be my Catcher in the Rye (See "Conspiracy Theory" if you don't know the reference).


Silver - Face/Off (1997) - Basically I dedicate the Silver to all the other action flicks that Nicolas Cage kicked ass in…starting with John Woo's Face/Off because I liked him being paired up opposite John Travolta. Also, Gina Gershon's in this movie briefly…and it has some of my favorite lines ever such as "I can eat a peach for hours" and "I hate to see you go…but I love to watch you leave" and "If I were to send you flowers…wait, that's not it. If I told you to suck my tongue…would you be grateful?" Love this movie. Next is "The Rock" (1996) with Sean Connery, Ed Harris, & Michael Biehn…and it just kicks ass. Also have to watch it when it's on TV. "Gone in 60 Seconds" (2000) gets on this list because of Angelina Jolie and the hot cars. Remember blonde, dreadlocked, tattooed up Angelina in that movie? Somehow she made it work. I think it was the hotness, being a natural brunette, and talking about cars in a sexual manner.


Bronze - Raising Arizona (1987) - Dedicated to the funny side of Mr. Cage. Have the Coen Brothers made a bad movie yet? I'll look into it…but this is just a quirky funny movie about love, crime, and parenting and other stuff costarring Holly Hunter, William Forsythe, and John Goodman. I also really liked "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) with Dana Carvey & Jon Lovitz about a criminal family robbing a bank then getting trapped in the nicest city ever. You read about "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) yesterday. Not funny…but surprisingly, it's the movie that got him an Academy Award…for looking tired & pretending to be drunk. Really? It was kind of a lame year going against Nixon (Sir Anthony Hopkins), Mr. Holland's Opus (Richard Dreyfuss), a Dead Man Walking (Sean Penn), and the Postman (Italian dude) but regardless, congratulations Mr. Cage.


Suggestion - Fire Birds (1990) - This was his first real action movie, I think. Tommy Lee Jones & Sean Young star in it too. I had never heard of it until recently…but it was pretty good. It's basically the Top Gun story with apache helicopters but still pretty good. TLJ makes it worth watching. Also, I watched "8MM" (1999) with Filly a while back and it was pretty good…for being about smut films. Anyway, I've pretty much talked about every movie of his now except a select few.


Flush It - It Could Happen To You (1994) - Now, I enjoy me a good romantic-comedy every once in a while…but this story about an NYPD officer (Cage) and a waitress (Bridget Fonda) splitting his lottery winnings & magically falling in love (sorry if I spoiled it) is a little too sappy even for me. There is one good thing about this movie though…and that's the soundtrack that features the likes of Tony Bennett, Billie Holliday, Frank Sinatra, and a lot of good time crooner music.



Future Watch - Werewolf Women of the S.S. (2009?) - Am I still the only person in America that wants to see Nicolas Cage star as Dr. Fu Manchu? Well, he's got real movies coming out soon too…like "Bangkok Dangerous" (8/22/08) which apparently is an action film directed by the Pang Brothers ("The Eye" & "The Messengers") and is apparently him kicking as in Thailand. I'm already intrigued. "Ghost Rider 2" (2009) is allegedly also a possibility (unfortunately) and the CGI-animation flick "G-Force" (2009) will star him, Steve Buscemi, Tracy Morgan, Penelope Cruz, and others as team of trained secret agent guinea pigs that take on a mission for the US government to stop an evil billionaire, who plans to destroy the world with household appliances. I AM NOT JOKING!!! He plays a mole named Speckles. Now that's badass!!!


Anyway, that'll do it for me for tonight. Hopefully my fortune cookie comes true and I'm pleasantly surprised. Have a great day everybody!!! Oh...and just to finish this Nicolas Cage business...please enjoy my picture with him one last time...

The Vegas-Cage Syndrome

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The past 24 hours have been a weird, zany mix of Las Vegas and Nicolas Cage. It started last night...when I posted my picture of the wax Nicolas Cage & me in Vegas. Okay, that happens. Yesterday, before going to work, I found that "Leaving Las Vegas" was on Comcast On-Demand...and I had never seen it...but being Vegas, I checked out the plot line...and after reading it, decided that I was going to watch it when I got home (Vegas, alcoholic Nicolas Cage, and my first real crush plays a prostitute). More on that later. Then Filly wanted to know if I rented "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets" and when we can watch it. See, because I have to call her at the front door of her apartment complex on an intercom, I do my Nicolas Cage impersonation (which is really me just sounding really tired...or doing that bad Con Air southern accent...or both). Okay, the movie came out on DVD Tuesday, it happens. I go home, my mom calls me & talks to me about Vegas, Bubbles calls who lives in Vegas (and thinks Nicolas Cage is really hot for some reason), even Mrs. Wingman called...and asks me about Vegas (and other stuff). Then I watch "Leaving Las Vegas", then flipping through the channels...and "Showgirls" is on VH1, then Lewis Black's Root of All Evil matchup is Las Vegas vs. the Human Body (Vegas won). Of course, the Travel Channel had its usual Vegas lineup, the World Series of Poker was on a few channels, okay, now it's getting really weird. Hell, when I watched National Treasure this morning, I was half expecting the City of Gold to be located in the Luxor. Coincidence? You be the judge.

Okay, where to start? I really liked "Leaving Las Vegas" starring Nicolas Cage and Elizabeth Shue (my first crush thanks to "Adventures in Babysitting"). It's a story about a depressed, alcoholic screenwriter (Cage) who gets let go...and decides to move to Vegas to drink himself to death. While down there, he meets a beautiful prostitute (Shue) who feels something special and unexplainable with him...and offers him a place to stay instead of the dingy motel that he was staying at. Now, I'll admit that what got me to finally watch this movie was the mention of Vegas & Shue...but it was actually a really good movie...despite being depressing on many levels. You see, a few years back, my dad battled alcoholism...and almost lost. So to see a creative, tortured soul of a gentlemen (with balding forehead) go through the twitches...and the mood swings...and the refusal to accept help brought back many memories of those days. Also, I felt a lot for Sera (Shue's character) who had this unexplainable attraction and willingness to help him...even though all signs pointed to heartache. It's a great story about how we all have our great qualities and our own baggage...but sometimes we're just lucky enough to stumble upon that special someone who completes us & compliments us...is willing to help us realize our dreams, even the unspoken ones (like drinking bourbon off every inch of her body in this movie) and basically makes us whole...or at least a whole lot happier. I found myself saying "Come on now, you two love each other. What's the big f**king deal? Get to the storybook ending." Check this movie out if you like dramas. It even has its clever, funny moments...but yeah, it's 98% drama...and I got to see Shue's boobs. Nice. Okay, so that last part probably nullified anything that I said earlier about the experience of the human condition...but that's how I am. Complicated yet simple...and creepily honest.

This morning, I watched "National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets" with Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Jon Voight, and Ed Harris and it was pretty good. I really liked the first one...because of the whole kind of Indiana Jones, Librarian, nerdy & clever hero explorer with a really hot girlfriend and comedic sidekick thing. It's good stuff. Sure, some of the clues may be a little farfetched but at least they keep it exciting and funny. I wish that I could tell you more about this movie...but you should probably check it out.

Oh...and to keep the apparently new Vegas theme to this blog, I'll be checking out the worldwide web for places to rent in the area, in anticipation of a move there...so if you know of any good sites to check out or know peeps in the area, please let me know. It'd be much appreciated. In the meantime, here's some news...

Tirana, Albania: City of Candles - A cat chasing a mouse in Tirana's main power station caused a 72-hour blackout across parts of the Albanian capital, the electricity company's spokesperson (Morgan Freeman?) said on Friday. "A cat and a mouse ran into the high-voltage cables," a company spokeswoman said, showing pictures of the electrocuted animals. "We took pictures because we've never had anything like this." Albanians complain bitterly about the power cuts that have plagued them for decades, and are mostly blamed on drought and the dilapidation of the communist-era grid. Most homes and shops in Tirana rely on petrol generators. It's amazing when a little game of cat & mouse can bring a city to its knees. That's like the huge blackout of the Northeast a few years back being caused by somebody accidentally kicking out a plug under their desk…or finally turning on that lamp in the corner…and then the power grid is overloaded. The straw that broke the camel's back, I guess. Looking at this picture of the friendly cat & mouse team…like an Albanian Tom & Jerry…I think the animals are starting to fight back…and they know where to hit us, our Technology. I'm just saying…keep an eye on your pets. When they stare at you…when you're home cleaning dishes or something…they're studying you. Looking for your weaknesses. Then one day, they'll pounce…and then all the Friskies AND Meow Mix will be theirs.

(Sorry for getting the Meow Mix jingle stuck in your head)

Panda Update - With the death toll of last week's Chinese earthquake fast approaching 50,000 and a reported five million people being homeless, I tend to focus on the Pandas…because apparently they're important too…and they're not as depressing. I stumbled upon this NY Times article about a 12-person American tourist group being rescued from the Wolong Natural Reserve a few days ago and they reported that all the animals were skittish and sensed the earthquake a few minutes before it happened. There are roughly 1,600 pandas living in the wild in China, most spread across 44 nature reserves in the Sichuan Province, where the epicenter of the quake was. Long before the quake, researchers at Wolong had been placing hidden cameras throughout the reserve to monitor pandas in the wild. Now those scenes will be used to help assess the impact of the disaster. As yet, not a single panda is known to have died, a sharp contrast to the human horror unfolding elsewhere in the mountains. Rescue workers were even able to save 13 panda cubs along with all the foreign tourists at the reserve. A senior security administrator did die however while taking part in the rescue efforts. Amazing stories of both tragedy and heroism coming out of this natural disaster. Hopefully many more are saved and they can rebuild quickly.

That'll do it for today. My best wishes go out to Becca who hurt her back & knee the other day. I wish you a speedy and complete recovery. Also, best wishes out to Bubbles & her family...and the Wingmans, as always. Remember to tell your loved ones that you love them. They may not know it. Tune in tomorrow...where I may be talking about yet another conspiracy theory (concerning the NBA Lottery), other random happenings, and maybe a Movie List. I haven't done one of them in a while. Have a great night everybody...and I'll see you around.

Vegas - Home of Lady Luck

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As proclaimed yesterday, I have returned from Vegas. It was a lot of fun and a great trip despite the triple digit, record-breaking weather during the day...but those kind of days lead to hot nights. Okay, don't get your hopes up just for me yet. I went with my dad...and he doesn't know how to keep a secret, so we didn't get too wild. Anyway, without further ado, here we go with my latest journey to Vegas.

Day 1

That night was like Christmas morning. I slept for a few hours...and then starting around 3:30 AM, I couldn't go back to sleep, so after about 30 minutes of fighting it, I just got up and double-triple checked everything for the trip. I met up with my dad at his house so that my stepmom could give us a ride to the airport. He was apparently excited to go too. My dad is a lot like me...so if you know me, you know him...with a few differences and about 25 years extra experience. Differences such as...

1) My father really has no inner monologue - It may be part of the unfreezing process or something...but if he thinks something, he'll say it. My brother inherited this trait...but I'm usually able to control myself (though my blog entries tend to ramble like I don't).
2) He says everything like a question...but wants a response - He tends to end just about every statement with a "Right?" or an "Eh?" or something like that...probably to seek confirmation in his beliefs...but it causes a problem with the next one.
3) He also has no volume control - Due to a life of many, many rock & roll concerts, cranked up headphones, and even massive amounts of swimming in the latest years, his ears and perception of volume are severely lacking. This can often create a problem due to the lack of inner monologue...and combined with his being hard of hearing...and still wanting confirmation on basically everything, here's an example of a pretty standard statement.

Dad: "(Grunt that indicates sexual arousal) Look at that girl there. Nice, eh?"
$teve (already checking with peripherals): "Yeah, nice."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yup."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "YES. Nice."
Dad: "Um, me likey. (Purposely creepy laugh & shoulder nudges)"

He's a great guy and all...but yeah, I don't like to repeat myself five or six times...especially when it's something like "Yup" and apparently a nod or thumbs up doesn't work for him either (bifocals?) so yeah, it gets old really quick. Love the guy though, so I try to make him happy...and not have him embarrass me at the same time. I did pretty well on this trip. We had a good time.

We arrived at the airport pretty early in the morning, so we picked up the rental car, stopped by a gas station to load up on drinks, ice & a cooler, then drove down the Strip. My dad hadn't seen it in about twenty years, so I tried to catch him up on everything while driving...which is kind of hard with questions like "What's that?" when he's not pointing at anything or giving me a vague description...but I did pretty well. We then pulled into the Planet Hollywood Casino & Hotel's parking lot (central location) and walked around a bit. We had lunch at the Harley-Davidson Cafe and their Pulled Pork Sandwiches are pretty good. We also had a superhot blonde Midwestern biker chick from Chicago as our waitress, so that was nice. Very nice. Here are some pictures of the Cafe...

Here was our rental car

Okay, so it was really a Saturn Aura...

but we briefly considered it.

My dad's dream bike

Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide

After lunch, we decided to head to our hotel for the next few nights, the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas in beautiful Henderson, Nevada. We checked into our rooms and I gave my dad a little tour of the property so that he could get around in my absence...because I was meeting up with Bubbles when she got off work so that I could meet her roommates. Here are some pictures of the hotel...from this trip...but I have many more on my other Vegas trip posts.

The view from our room

Bubbles hooked us up

Bubbles and I met up and she drove me to her place. You may remember that the chief purpose of my last trip was to help her find a place...so I was curious where she ended up. We first stopped at a bar called Timbers to have a cool frosty alcoholic beverage in an air-conditioned local before heading to her place. The bar was nice. Pool tables, good drinks, good service. I recommend it. Her house was nice too. Her roommates seemed like good people, especially the house's owner who's a great mother figure for the rest of them. The 6-year old seemed to be scared of me...but I think she was just pretending. She's a cutie though. After changing out of her work attire, we headed back to the Ritz to meet up with my dad for dinner at the Sonrisa Grill in Montelago Village.

Dinner was great with Bubbles and my Dad. We had a good time with some great food, great tunes, and a few drinks (except my dad, because he's been sober for six years now). After dinner, Bubbles seemed to have had a few many, so I drove her home for the evening and made sure that she got to bed safely. Since it was already late & she needed her car for a dentist appointment early morning, I decided to just stay the night at her house and slept on the floor. I know. "Why would you give up a night's sleep in the legendary Ritz-Carlton beds that you've gone on & on about for years...to sleep on your friend's floor?" Because she got home safe and sound...and Karma comes back around. I hope that you're all lucky enough to have at least one friend like me, there when you need them. Didn't sleep too well...but would have slept much worse worrying about her getting home safe...so it's all good.

Day 2

We woke up with queasy stomachs (alcohol + lack of sleep?) and headed to her dentist appointment, then she dropped me off at the Ritz-Carlton before heading to work. Then I showered up real quick, experience the Club Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton (well worth the extra Benjamin for food & drinks all day if you're there at the hotel) and then we decided to head out to see the area around the hotel, including beautiful Lake Mead and the engineering marvel that is Hoover Dam.

Here are some pictures of Lake Mead. Cool thing was that when we pulled up, we saw four big eagles flying overhead...but I wasn't able to get a good picture of them. it was still an amazing sight though. I'd recommend it if you're in the area...but it was hot this day.

See the Eagle? Didn't think so...

My dad & I are both engineering geeks (he has a degree & I almost did before changing majors after three years), so Hoover Dam is really cool to us. We walked around, took pictures, and talked about how we'd like to come back to see the Bridge when it's finished. Funny thing is that I've seen Hoover Dam four times before...but this was my dad's first time. He mentioned (several times due to previous differences) that the first time he saw the Hoover Dam was on "Transformers" last summer.

Proof my dad is also a nerd

Dam Visitor Center

The bridge is going to be wicked awesome

When you're a man, the world is your urinal...

Behold the world's largest urinal

On our way back from the Dam, I was getting a call from the hotel. Remembering the last time I answered that number inappropriately for my 1st interview, I simply answered hello this time. It was, in fact, the HR manager for my hopeful future employer asking me if I'd like to do a 2nd Interview since I was in town. "Sure, I can meet you there in...30-45 minutes if that's cool." "Well, I may not be here that late..." "Well, I can be there in 10-15 minutes if you don't mind me being in shorts & a T-shirt. My dad & I have just been out near Hoover Dam all day." "Ugh...yeah, that'd be great. I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes then."

The interview went very well, I think. We seemed to have a good conversation going...and of course I made her smile a few times, so that's usually a plus. Her former position was the position that I was applying for...and she mentioned this after I explained my reasons for pursuing that position...and she seemed to like my responses. Anyway, I'm not an HR professional, so we'll see in the next few weeks if they want me as an employee. (However, I just got my annual review last night...and I don't mean to brag...but it was the highest rating possible...so I've got that going for me when/if they call my current employers) I'm very excited about the possibility of moving to Vegas...and combined with the queasiness in the stomach and lack of food for some time, I went to get something to eat. First, I had to tell Bubbles how it went...and she seemed stuck on "You wore THAT to your interview?" even after explaining the context...but she was excited for me too. We had a celebratory drink at the Irish pub, Auld Dubliner in the village before we parted ways (she was feeling sicker than I was).

My dad & I ate at the Club Lounge again (because it was included) and shortly after arriving there, Bubbles called to tell me that all of her roommates had this mystery stomach illness thing, so it wasn't our drinking (because I didn't drink that much...but I am a lightweight). So we decided to just make this night a rest & relaxation evening so that we could be fully rested & healthy for the other nights. My dad & I just watched basketball and I slept for about ten solid hours, twelve total...and didn't feel the least bit bad about it. Remember, I hadn't slept really comfortably in a few days...and the heat of Vegas saps my strength so. If I move out there, I'll definitely have to figure out that.

Day 3

Dad & I woke up to the Club Lounge breakfast again, then headed for the Strip to see more of it. Along the way, we talked a lot about me moving to Vegas and he of course gave me fatherly advice along the way...and I reassured him with my theories and told him that I had thoroughly thought it through long before even applying for the job. I was really excited...almost giddy on the drive down (I had slept well) but yeah, on the drive back from being on the Strip in hundred degree weather for 4-5 hours, I was very quiet on the way back.

We walked through the mid-section of the Strip including the Venetian, Palazzo, Wynn, Treasure Island, and ended up at the Mirage about the time we ran out of sweat (even drinking water consistently) so we stopped into the California Pizza Kitchen, shared a BBQ chicken pizza, drank lots of water, and placed a few bets. I put $20 on the Spurs to win the championship at 10:1 odds. Step one was beating the Hornets last night...and they did. He placed bets for the KC Chiefs (80:1) and Denver Broncos (25:1) to win the Super Bowl...so basically gave Vegas money. After that, we headed back for the hotel to rest until the sun went down.

Surprisingly, I look more tired than Nicolas Cage does

Then again, I was pretending.

As soon as I arrived back at the hotel, I got a text from Bubbles to meet her at the Auld Dubliner. Slowly but surely over the next hour, it went from the two of us to about six coworkers (all female) having a few drinks after work. Then four of us went over to the Sonrisa Grill to share some appetizers and have a few more drinks. Those ladies are a lot of fun. Free of inhibitions after half a margarita (or Mesori Sour...or something like that) and we were having a wonderful R-rated conversation about whatever. Good times with the ladies. They occasionally would say something ragging on men and then look at me and go "Sorry, nothing personal." "Oh...I know. It's true. No worries." We had a GREAT time and I met a few of my (hopefully) future coworkers.

After that, I went back to the room to relax a bit (finally), watched a little basketball (including the nailbiter finish of Lakers/Jazz Game 6) and then met up with Bubbles, her boss, and her boss' husband at Timbers later that night for dinner. They were all great people...and again, we had a great time. We didn't have much to drink...but because I didn't want my dad to get sick or anything from me, I drove Bubbles home and stayed there another night. I'm too damn nice. Oh well, that's why I keep my bed like a Ritz-Carlton bed at home...so I can miss it for a few nights...but always return to it.

Day 4

The next morning, we checked out of the Ritz-Carlton after breakfast and made our way to our last hotel, the Marriott Suites. It wasn't quite the same luxury level as the other hotel, but still very nice...and all of the rooms are spacious suites...and it's within hundred degree walking distance of the Riviera hotel...more on that a little later. We checked in and rested a bit before driving down to the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel & Casino for some lunch and souvenirs for the kiddies back home. I had a Hurricane & a Creole Sandwich (apparently a New Orleans theme to that meal) and both were delicious. Here are some pictures of the Cafe.

As you walk in, you know they mean business...

Jimi portrait, his cloak, and a burnt guitar

All Is One

Entertainment for the evening was to see the world famous Crazy Girls burlesque show at the Riviera. I had seen this show about five years ago when I was a wee lad and there were fond memories of it, so Bubbles, my dad, & I got some Preferred tickets and enjoyed the show after a little gambling to get us in the mood. The show's a great mix of comedy, sex, magic, sex, boobs, music, and sex...and was well worth the price of admission in my opinion. Oh...and by the way, Bubbles was absolutely stunning in her outfit. She didn't want her picture taken...but this is about the closest to the magnitude of hotness that I could find...and it still doesn't do justice...

After the show, we decided to show my dad the Fremont Street Experience (which apparently had a different meaning last time my dad was here thirty years ago) and it's one of my & Bubbles' favorite spots to party. However, about a million other people had the same idea because the place was packed tight with rednecks due to a huge Sugarland concert right in the middle of Fremont Street. We got out of there quickly because it was too drunken crazy...and some of us under six feet tall were claustrophobic. We drove back towards the Strip...but honestly, we were all sapped...and I wanted to leave something for my dad to take my stepmom to when they come down...like the Fountains at Bellagio and the sort...so we just called it a night out of sheer laziness.

We got back to the room and to wind down, we flipped through the channels and found...Snakes on a Plane. Not sure if I mentioned this before...but though I gave this movie the Flush It on my Sam Jackson movie list, I had never seen it. Based on premise alone, I gave it a Flush It...so I thought that I'd give it a chance...and it remains my Flush It. The story is...ridiculous. There was a nice nudity shot of an incredibly hot blonde about to renew her membership into the Mile High Club...but then they threw in the snakes...and it just got stupider, until I figured it was a sign to go to bed.

Day 5

I woke up around 9 AM fully refreshed and stumbled upon "The Truman Show" while I waited for the several hour process of my dad to get ready. I really like this show...and for those of you who don't know, it's about a man named Truman (Jim Carrey) who stars in his own reality show constantly 24 hours a day...and he has since birth...and has never known it. Seriously, you should check it out. It's Jim Carrey craziness mixed in with a deep meaning of life, entertainment, love, the unknown, the controlled, and a bunch of other things. As I watched it, I found myself kind of wondering...what if I were in that situation? All I had known and believed was just some clever scheme to keep me from experiencing the world...and get good ratings & ad revenue. Sometimes I think like that...like, if I were watching my life happening on TV, what would I be yelling at the screen as an observer?

For example, let's say I'm trying to pick up a girl at a bar...and I use one of my clever lines to sneak a seat next to her and get a smile out of her. would I think I were smooth? "Nice line, jackass. Hopefully she's a teacher and thinks your awkwardness is cute...like one of her six-year olds is hitting on her." Anyway, that frame of mind got me thinking...from on observer's perspective, am I really using my time on this planet wisely? Could I be doing more? If so, what? Is Vegas really the place for me to go? Am I just making a brash life-changing decision just to make a brash life-changing decision? Or is it really what I want to do? It's kind of like being my own critic / parent...but the more that I think about it, the more that I think this is the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason...and everything seems to be pushing me towards Vegas...if not just for a few years while I'm still unattached and can enjoy the carefree lifestyle and live life to the fullest...in a setting basically the exact opposite of where I was raised (Utah). Anyway, Truman Show's a great flick. Check it out. It's more entertaining than one of my rants.

After checking out, my dad & I met up with Bubbles for an $11.99 Champagne Brunch at Fiesta Henderson Casino. It was delicious. They had American, Italian, Chinese, Mongolian, Soul Food, Seafood (including buckets of Crab Legs), Baked Goods, Desserts all around, and anything your heart desires really. We had good fun...and I even had a Fortune Cookie that read something like "Tomorrow you will be full of great ideas" and nothing really happened yesterday that was incredibly creative...but whatever. We had a good time playing with our food and enjoying the sweet sweet meat of crab...and washing it down with chocolate cake & mimosas. Afterwards, we gambled a bit because Bubbles & I always have fun playing the slots (Wheel of Fortune if we can) and she knew that I didn't want to spend too much time alone with my dad (talking in those above conversations for five days now) and we had a great time and eventually hugged goodbye. Thanks for everything, Bubbles. It was great to see you again.

Dad wanted to go to the In & Out Burger to get some souvenirs for people back home (since we had just eaten a buffet, so no burger & animal style fries) then we hung out at the Orleans Casino for a while just to escape the heat reaching up to 110 degrees now. I played some Roulette and basically ended up losing six bucks...but got two glasses of ice cold water in exchange. I felt like I had broken even.

Long story short, after that, we filled up the rental car's gas tank, gave it back, got on the flight and went home. Along the way, my dad got a little obnoxious and we got in one of our conversations about the small airplane that we were taking back (since it was an hour flight).

Dad: "Is THAT our plane? It looks small, doesn't it?"
$teve: "It's a regional flight."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yeah, it's a smaller plane."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yes. (F**k)"
Dad: "I mean...THAT'S a plane (pointing at a 757) but THIS is a baby, right?"
$teve: "They're perfectly safe. Don't be scared, dad."
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "Don't worry dad. You'll be safe."
Dad: "Oh, I know...but still...it's just a little plane."
$teve: "And we've got front row seats with extra leg room. I'll take the window."
Dad: "What? (Grunt) LOOK AT THAT GIRL!!! (Sitting two seats away at the airport, so she obviously heard my dad and chose to ignore) That's a hot girl, right?"
$teve: "Yup, she's certainly a beautiful woman."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yup. Hey look at mountains (like he's a kid)."
Dad: "You should go talk to her."
$teve: "I'm sure that she can hear us just fine, dad. (She laughed a little)"
Dad: "What?"
$teve (do you see how frustrating this week was?): "(Silence)"
Dad: "I would have at your age."
$teve: "I know...and you had a wife and two kids at my age, dad. Let it go, alright?"
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "(F**k me!!!) I'll be back. I'm going to the bathroom."
Dad: "Okay!!! Hope it all goes well." (He heard the bathroom thing the first time, that's why I remember it...because it was so odd)
$teve: "It always does."

By the time I got back from the bathroom, the lovely woman was gone...so I assume she got a little fed up or something too. Like I said, I love my dad...but he gets irritating after a while...and he doesn't mean to, he just does. Oh...and during the flight, he had his Walkman (yes, original Walkman) on and was singing along to "Dark Side of the Moon" while I was trying to nod off because my head was basically at an angle on the wall anyway because of the small plane window seat...and he was pretty loud and nudged me pretty sturdily every few seconds wanting me to join in singing. Wasn't really in that kind of a mood, so I passed. Anyway, we stopped by Taco Bell telling my stepmom all about the tripe, made it home, thanked each other for the great trip...and I went home ready to sleep like a log...or so I thought.

I got back home around 11 PM and my apartment was HOT!!! I had just come from 110 degree Vegas...and my apartment was making me sweat more...so I tried to find out why. My heater was turned down...but apparently it was just a hot day here in Utah and I had all my windows closed with no fan or anything on (it was in the fifties when I left). After about an hour of checking the oven, opening windows, turning on fans, and whatever else I could do to cool the house down, I got a call from Bubbles. "How much do you love me?" "Is this a trick question?" "(Laugh) You know that you're my best friend in the whole wide world, right?" "(Sigh) Of course I do...but I'd like to hear you say it again before you tell me what you need me to do." "Well, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world...and I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor...and let my mom crash at your house for the night."

Apparently, her mom & her mom's boyfriend had a fight, so her mom was standing out in the cold (still 80 degrees) and needed a place to stay the night before her other daughter could come pick her up. "She's not drunk or high or anything, is she?" "No, but you're the only person that can help me out...and I know that it's a lot to ask...but would ya?" "(Sigh) You know that I will. Wait, where is she?" "Not exactly sure...but I'll find out and call you back." She was about a mile away...so that was great. I picked her up (and all of her stuff, that filled up my car pretty good), took her to my place, gave her a cranberry juice & vodka nightcap, let her use the shower, made her laugh a little, and she had full couch, bar, & fridge privileges. They were ever so grateful...and I spent the next morning hanging with her, watching "Home Improvement" and stuff until her other daughter came and picked her up. It was the least that I could do for a good friend like Bubbles...and I hope that her mom gets her life back on track as soon as possible. She's a sweetie...and I think she likes me too...but she just doesn't seem to have the willpower...but hopefully that'll change quickly. She's too nice of a person to be miserable. Pray for her, would y'all? I'd consider it a personal favor if you did.

Anyway, that was my latest Vegas adventure. Sorry if it was a little long-winded and philosophical for ya instead of drunken & debaucherous...but it was what it was. What happens in Vegas, usually stays there...so be darn happy that I gave ya this much. I'll keep you posted on the job and what becomes of it...and I hope that you all had a wonderful time while I was gone. Also, if I don't see ya before you go, have a happy & safe Memorial Day Weekend!!! Have a great night everybody!!!