I Really Like My Bed

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday, I did surprisingly little...because I went for my morning jog...to Best Buy and got "Grand Theft Auto IV" for the PS3. Then my brother saw that I was signed in & playing it...so we went on a three-hour rampage of Liberty City, stealing cars, shooting cops, launching rockets at helicopters, picking up hookers, and all the usual Vegas weekend kind of stuff. I don't know why this game is so appealing...but it really is. I had never really played any of the previous GTA titles...but one of my favorites is the "Scarface: The World Is Yours" game for PS2 and it's basically the same thing. Yeah, I'll keep you posted on my progress in the game...but I'm not very good & practiced at it, so it may take a while, just so you know.

Around 7, Cat came and picked me up (always have a designated driver) to go to Alta's graduation party...and it was awesome. She & her roommates were wonderful hosts and quite entertaining...and best of all, they had three kegs of Killian's Irish Red and hamburgers. I played Beer Pong for the first time (and subsequently lost...but I already had a good number of beers in me at that point). Good times were had by all...and because Cat had to be to work early, we left around 10:30...which was probably a good thing...because I didn't really know anybody, there were no single girls there, and I had to work too...just not early...but I didn't want to make an offering of digested burgers & regurgitated ale to Pukestra, the pagan porcelain god. So I went home, watched some highlights of the basketball games (and a little Tomb Raider), then slept like a babe on newly washed sheets with that wonderful Mountain Spring scent to them. I found in the morning that a few people had tried to call me...but I was completely oblivious. Sweet, sweet slumber.

I may have mentioned this before...but I really like my bed. It may be because growing up I didn't seem to have a bed that fit me until I was off to college...or while at college, I rarely got to enjoy it more than maybe 3-4 hours a day...or it may just be that my bed is f**king awesome...and I spoil myself, but yeah, I like my bed. Five hundred count sheets, both cotton & lambwool blankets on top, feather comforter on top of a king sized premium mattress, oh it's comfortable. Even my headboard is one of those huge ones with display cases, dimmer switch lights, plenty of mirrors, drawers to keep whatever in. Don't believe me? Here are some pictures...and yeah, those are some stuffed animals, awards from work, and see if you can guess where the gun & knives can be found (I live alone & am properly trained)...


Just to let you ladies know what you're missing out on. Anyway, this morning, I woke up surprisingly refreshed given the quantities of Killian's I drank...but then again I prepared by sipping water through the night. Watched a little bit of the Celtics game, then headed off to work, and Bubbles called me with a bit of a dilemma. She and her roommate's 6-year old wanted to do something fun...and she asked me if there were any Chuck E. Cheese's in Vegas...which there are. So those ladies are spending the day there based on my advertising last weekend. Awesome!!! Now, I'm just here at work chillin' with the Mad Scientist & Cat...and sort of waiting for another interview call, since it is Sunday afternoon and everything. Now for some news...

A Grand Piece of Scat - A pile of dinosaur dung 130 million years old sold at a New York auction Wednesday for nearly $1,000. The prehistoric deposit fetched $960, said a spokeswoman for Bonhams New York. Its pre-auction estimate was $450. The fossilized dung is from the Jurassic era and looks like a rock on the outside and a colorful mineral inside. The buyer was Steve Tsengas of Fairport Harbour, OH. The 71-year-old owns OurPets, a company that sells products to treat dog and cat waste. Tsengas bought the dung in hopes of motivating his employees and using it as a marketing tool by displaying it at the company's booth at trade shows, he said. "Poop is a big business in the pet industry." Are you sh*tting me? A thousand dollars for a piece of Triceraplop? Not only that, but the guy that bought it owns a company...that treats poo...and he thinks that this will motivate his employees and be a great marketing tool. Well, just to help him out for literally buying a POS by giving him a shout-out on my blog. I wonder how much he'd be willing to pay for some of the massive land mines that some of the neighbor dogs leave outside my door. Pay off them student loans ahead of schedule...

Writing a Check You Just Can't Cash - Charles Ray Fuller is a 21-year-old Texan who just wanted to start a record company because he had an incredible love for music. Allegedly, his girlfriend's mother gave him a check to cash at the Fort Worth bank. Tellers were immediately suspicious...probably because of the ten zeros at the end of a personal check for $360,000,000,000 (that's 360 BILLION). In addition to forgery, Fuller was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon and possessing marijuana. Officers reported finding less than 2 ounces of marijuana and a .25-caliber handgun and magazine in his pockets. I don't know about the forgery charges...he may just be really really stupid. I mean...think about it. His unofficial mother-in-law writes him a check for $360 billion (which is like saying eleventy-seventy gagillion dollars) and he may just think that she's really loaded...and that's why she has the double-wide trailer. So then he goes to the bank...and psyche, the joke's on him. The check is fake...and he's caught with his celebratory smoke & noise maker. Meanwhile, she's back at the trailer telling his girlfriend, "See? I told you that he'd fall for it. You're too good for him. You should find a real man." "But I love him mama. Boohoohoo..." Runs off to her room crying and slamming the beads behind her...and cranks up the Carrie Underwood. Oh well, maybe it's even more complicated than that...but I'll wait until the evidence comes in. In the meantime, what a dumbass!!! Even the greatest mother-in-law in the world couldn't give you the GDP of Austria...and you certainly couldn't cash it at your local bank...but think about all the wonderful music that you're company could produce. I mean...Mozart's from Austria...and he was just one dude...and had never heard of Country-Western music.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Busy busy day at work followed by another one tomorrow. Again, a big shout-out to all the graduates out there!!! Congratulations!!! Have a great night everybody!!!