Be Back Next Week

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I was a little under the weather yesterday (damn you Mad Scientist) but I'm okay now. The day at work was a little tough towards the end because I started getting a headache...but I made it...and Captain Monty and Mickey coming back from her Dallas vacation helped out. One of the things that really contributed to my headache...was my brother calling me about his marital spat. Why can't these two just talk to each other? He wants one thing, she wants another, it's called Compromise. Google it. I offered my services as a Mediator...but not until AFTER Vegas...because I'm not going to worry about them. In fact, I may just turn my cell phone off while I'm down there. No offense to anybody...I'll check my messages occasionally...but just don't be surprised if I don't respond immediately.

After I went home, I figured that I would just pack it in for the day and rest up for Vegas tomorrow. Bubbles was having a bad day, so I called her up and made her feel better...because it's what I do. Then I sat down, turned on the TV...and there it was...a special TWO hour season premiere of "American Gladiators." Why do I like this show so much? The brutal violence (that really isn't there)? The hot Ukrainian contender Elena? The hot muscular gladiators like Venom, Phoenix, or Crush? Spandex? I'll be the first to say that most of the outfits aren't that flattering to the females...but you can't deny Crush's cleavage. Anyway, I watched that for two hours (flipping back and forth with the Celtics/Cavs game during commercials) and actually had text conversations in three states at the same time (Bubbles, JL Clyde, & JJ).

After that, I wasn't quite ready for bed...so I decided to watch the new movie "Slipstream" starring, writting, directed, and I kid you not, music composed by Sir Anthony Hopkins. It also had Christian Slater, Michael Clarke Duncan,Camryn Manheim, John Turturro, and Jeffrey Tambor. This was the movie that JL Clyde & I started to watch last week...but switched to "P.S. I Love You" instead. I thought that I'd give it the benefit of a doubt...and finish it. It was tough. It's about an aging screenwriter named Felix Bonhopper (Hopkins) who is basically caught between the real world, his own dreams, and random memories like James Dean, Hitler, Nixon, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It's basically ten gallons of crazy in a tea cup...like David Lynch made the movie...but for some reason, not as good or intriguing (possibly because there's no lesbian scene). I actually fell asleep watching it the first half hour (possibly because of the sickness) and struggled to care what was going to happen after that. It's a great film with regards to film editing, splicing scenes together, and creating an atmosphere of crazy, random things occuring...but it's really not that intriguing of a story, mostly because the entire premise of the movie is that it's non-linear and jaunted and confusing. After the movie was over, I tried to think what the moral of the story was...or actually what the story was...but that was basically it. Felix Bonhopper is bipolar and losing his mind. Wasn't too impressed. So then I went to bed...and slept for nearly ten hours (thank you cough medicine) and woke up right as rain.

Oh...and the other day I watched this show called "Tin Man" starring Zooey Deschanel, Neal McDonough, Alan Cummings, and Richard Dreyfuss in a...somewhat modern retelling of the Wizard of Oz. It's about a waitress named D.G. (Deschanel) who finds out that she's a princess from the Outer Zone (O.Z.) and gets sucked in a transdimensional storm and meets up with a prisoner with his brain removed (Cummings), a former cop named Tin Man (McDonough), and a psychic cowardly lion on a mission to find a magician/wizard addicted to drugs (Dreyfuss) and avoid being killed by a superhot evil witch...oh yeah, and find D.G.'s superhot mom and get back home. It's a little out there...but not too much more than the original story...so it's all good. I actually only saw the first disc (number two was checked out) so we'll see how it ends. Right now though, it's pretty intriguing. I'd give it a look...if not just to see Zooey's eyes and the evil witch's cleavage. Oh...and Munchkins are in it...sort of. There's no place like home.

This morning, I ran some last minute errands before leaving for a few days...and my garbage disposal is out. Awesome. The landlord said he'd fix it by the time I got back on Sunday...so we shall see. I also stopped by Best Buy and bought Season 3 of "Drawn Together" and have been watching that since. Feeling a lot better than I did last night so I'm primed and spend a few days in Vegas. Here's the news...

Panda Update - As you may already know, there was a disastrous 7.8 magnitude earthquake near Chengdu, China and the death toll unfortunately keeps rising and I think was at 12,000 at last estimates. It's truly a tragedy...but because this isn't that kind of a blog, I'm going to focus on the status of the Pandas in the Sichuan province. The Wolong National Nature Reserve and panda breeding center is the only place where the rare animals can be seen in such large numbers. Chinese officials and zoo officials overseas were worried about the center's 100 or so pandas, whose home is close to the heart of Monday's massive earthquake. Their rarity and slow breeding make any large-scale loss critical to the population...and at this time, their status is unknown. "The wild pandas, they can sense things. I'm sure they moved to higher terrain. But captive pandas do not have that luxury. They do not have the skills to survive in the wild," said Suzanne Braden, director of U.S.-based Pandas International, which supports Wolong with medical equipment. I'll be sure to keep you posted...but hopefully ALL the victims of the earthquake and various other natural disasters (cyclone in Myanmar, storms in Southeastern U.S., etc.) across the globe get the help that they need.

The Platypus: Nature's Clusterf**k - Now, the Platypus fascinates me…and I'm apparently not alone. It's technically classified as a mammal because it has fur and feeds milk to its young…but it also has bird features like a bill and webbed feet…as well as reptilian features like laying eggs and having spurs in their feet that inject pain-causing venom. Yeah, I didn't know that last one either. Weird, right? This has scientists around the world asking the same question, "So what the f**k is it?" A scientific team published the genetic makeup of the Australian animal in the scientific journal Nature on Thursday, confirming that its features are reflected in its DNA. More than 100 scientists from the United States, Australia, Japan and other nations took part in mapping the genome, using DNA collected from a female platypus named Glennie. They also say the research could help explain how mammals, including humans, evolved from reptiles millions of years ago. "At first glance, the platypus appears as if it was the result of an evolutionary accident," said Francis S. Collins, director of the U.S. National Human Genome Research Institute, which funded the study. "But as weird as this animal looks, its genome sequence is priceless for understanding how mammalian biological processes evolved." So is the platypus the love child of a duck and a giant muskrat…who was bitten by a vampiric asp? Is it the Blade of the animal kingdom? Are they keeping Australia safe from being overran by bloodthirsty koalas? Are humans evolved from reptiles? Or monkeys? Only time…and further research will tell. However it turns out, I still don't know what to call a more than one platypus. A gaggle? A pride? A bunch? A pack? Platypussies? Platypusi? What?

Anyway, that's about it for today...and I'll be back next week with an all-new installment of Vegas adventures. I've got two tickets to paradise, my budget's in order, four nights at a great hotel, lovely ladies waiting to party with me, and I'm taking my dad, who's both a lot of fun and my designated driver. It should be a fun trip. I'll be sure to pass along all that I remember. Have a great week y'all!!! What happens in Vegas...usually ends up moving there...or something like that. Peace!!!