Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Cinco de Mayo to all of you!!! This is the day celebrating Mexican heritage, pride, traditions, and independence (though it's officially September 16th) and also the 2nd anniversary of my graduation from college. Some of you reading were there, when Camb & I celebrated at the Tavernacle, drank entirely too much, and then the lock of my front door broke when I tried to open it at 3 AM and I crashed at B's house. Aw memories... So raise a Corona with a little bit of lime...and say salud to a proud people who have overcome a lot of adversity...and whose women always sound sexy, even when they're incredibly pissed and throwing stuff at you.

Not much has happened since last night except I worked an eleven hour day, slept (in my bed that really like), and jogged this morning before heading to work again. The day is still young though. Plenty can still happen on this magical day. In the meantime, here's the news...

Duct Tape Update - Remember Kasey Kazee? The Kentucky man who robbed a liquor store last August…and to conceal his identity, covered his head in duct tape? Still not ringing a bell? How could you possibly forget this guy's picture? Well, he pleaded guilty to second degree robbery and faces up to ten years in prison…for basically robbing the store of about fifteen bucks. Think about that for a second. The man is going to be remembered for at least a long time as the dumbass that taped his face up to look like the Evil Silver Surfer with a bad Kentucky draw…and could be spending up to ten years in jail for $15. That works out to less than half a penny per day of being rammed by the penal system. Maybe he'll get a reduced sentence or something & this will set his life straight. We can only hope so. I'd hate to see him in the news again in a decade and reading about him passing out while trying to rob a bank because he Saran wrapped his head.

In $teve We Trust - Illinois man Steve Kreuscher wants a judge to legally change his name to "In God We Trust." The fellow Steve says the new name would symbolize the help God gave him through tough times. The 57-year old school bus driver & amateur artist (sidewalk chalker?) from Arlington Heights believes that atheists will eventually get the phrase off American currency soon as well…but who knows? I know what you're all asking yourselves. $teve, is this ridiculous? Yes & no. Yes, because it'll just causes a lot of problem when he has to initial legal documents and introduce himself. I mean…he could probably adjust it to be Ingod Wetrust Kreuscher (IWK) or something…but otherwise we're looking at IGWTK which is pretty much preposterous, even in the Era of Texting. LOL!!! :) Besides, you really can't improve on Steve as a first name. It's basically the perfect name. Try to find one better (besides Elvis, that doesn't count). And No, because he has apparently put a lot of thought…well, at least some thought into it…and it's to commemorate the Almighty for being there in his time of need and carrying him across the beach when there was only one pair of footprints and all. Then again, that would be like me renaming myself Dr. Victoria's Secret Winter Catalog Love…because it really helped me through some tough times as well. Anyway, penny for your thoughts…

Men May Be More Complex Than Previously Thought - In the usual smooth transition from the last story, a new study from the Kinsey Institute says that men may be more complex and aroused by a wide array of different things that may or may not be sexual. Among the revelations from their focus groups in which men talked about what influenced their sexual desire and arousal: one man's turn-on is often another's turn-off; an erection doesn't always signal arousal; and not every guy wants to jump into bed at the drop of a hat. The findings are published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (can't believe I've never heard of this magazine) but basically, men reported getting erections without necessarily being aroused, while some men, especially older men, said they might become aroused without having an erection (isn't that called ED?). Some used masturbation as a way to "fix it when something just feels off" or as a "great way" to get out of a funk…or phrased better, get the funk out. Many men said feeling confident and good about themselves often led to feeling sexually aroused (I'm in the building and feelin' myself) while "feeling scruffy" had the opposite effect. For many men, a self-confident partner was also more desirable than one who didn't feel good about herself. Amen!!! In addition to a nice body and a pretty face, many men found intelligence "really attractive" and "a big turn on." That explains those crazy kinky librarian attractions. Mood and feeling emotionally connected also influenced arousal for men, while a woman's scent was key for some men, but not others. However, an "overwhelming majority" said that being outdoors, for example on a camping trip or having a picnic, boosted their sexual desire and arousal (I'm sure it's something about being caught…or just mammalian instincts). Anyway, I really don't have much to add to this story…but according to the scientist, they provides a more complex picture of men's sexuality. I think it just shows that we have the potential to be turned on by just about anything…and have the potential to be turned off by just about anything. Still really haven't found the latter myself.

Tesla Roadster - After several years of development, Tesla has released the Roadster. With sleek lines like a Ferrari or Porsche and a sticker price of $109,000. It officially moves from the drawing boards to the market next week when Tesla's first store opens near the UCLA in Los Angeles' toney Westwood neighborhood where Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Hollywood practically intersect. Other stores are due to open in the next year in New York, Chicago, and others…but why is this roadster a big deal? Because it's equipped with an all-electric engine and runs on lithium-ion battery pack that releases zero emissions. Also, "Because it's an electric motor it's got 100 percent torque all the time. So it just pulls you like when you're taking off in an airplane" which means that the car goes from 0 to 60 MPH in just under four seconds and tops out at 125 MPH. One charge is enough to travel 225 miles and fully recharges in about 3.5 hours (so like charging a cell phone at night). Some critics have expressed concerns about the durability and safety of the lithium-ion battery, which weighs about 1,000 pounds, more than a third of the entire weight of the 2,700-pound Roadster, whose body is made up of carbon fiber materials. Tesla officials respond that the car has passed all required safety tests. They say the battery should last for about 100,000 miles of driving. Currently, most of the 2008 cars are already purchased by celebrities like the Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Kelsey Grammar, and Flea but like with any start up company with a great idea, they'll more than likely be growing at an exponential rate in the alternative fuel automobile market and are already planning a five-passenger sedan model that plans to be more affordable than this roadster. Keep an eye on this company. That's my tip for the day.

That'll do it for today. Big thanks to everybody for being so badass & giving me a reason to get up every morning. Love y'all madly. Have a great night and down a few cervezas...but not too many...because tomorrow's Tequila Tuesday...and you have work in the morning. Adios amigos!!! How does this picture make you feel? Violent?

P.S. I obviously took German in high school for some reason...and it has done me absolutely nothing over the past nine years. Not even impress Austrian girls. Then again, I haven't had a whole lot of chances...but I'll make it back to Salzburg one day.