G'Morning Lori

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Mother's Day at work wasn't that bad…except I found out that a coworker friend of mine Lori passed away from a stroke, her second. We had been buddies for the better part of a decade. We had gone on a trip to Jamaica (work-related) a few years back and she was a receptionist, so just about every day I came to work, I'd see her a say "G'morning Lori" "G'morning $teve" and that was that…and occasionally she'd ask me about my trips around the world and stuff…but it was just one of those friendly work things, you know? I wasn't Godfather to her child or anything like that…but it's just weird & sad when you kind of fall into a routine (which my life seems to be sometimes…especially during the week) and one of the best parts of your day is suddenly gone. You almost feel like you took that person for granted. She was a great lady and my condolences go out to her family. This is the reason why I try to make everybody smile when I'm around them…because you never know the next time you'll see that person…and I'd like my last image in somebody's mind to be that guy that made them laugh. Sorry if this has put everybody in a bad mood this morning…but I'll try to make up for it later.

Don't Steal Drunk - Andre Smith struck up a conversation with a group of women at a bachelorette party at the Bensalem Township taproom last Sunday morning. The women were taking photos of each other when Smith jumped in front of the camera. He was later ejected from the bar for allegedly harassing customers. When two women in the group left the bar to go to a nearby convenience store, Smith robbed them of their pocketbooks. The women recognized Smith (who apparently didn't recognize them) and gave investigators a copy of their photo. He was later arrested on robbery & theft charges and is being held on $50,000 bail. It just goes to show that if you're going to be a professional thief…do it professionally. Don't get drunk before going to work. Even beer masters show up to work sober. I also just wanted to post this picture too…because it's a somewhat hilarious story.

Take It To The Head - Authorities in Texas have filed corpse-abuse charges against two men who allegedly removed a skull from a grave and used it as a bong. One of the men allegedly told police they dug up a grave in an abandoned cemetery in the woods, removed a head from a body and smoked marijuana using the skull as a bong. Police found the cemetery and a grave that had been disturbed but are still investigating the rest of the story. Not exactly sure there's a whole lot more to the story than that…but still, good luck with that. Now, I don't smoke…but I've been around smokers…and they've discussed utensils from which to smoke before. The usual stuff like fish tanks, pop cans, vacuum cleaners, snorkels, and all of that in good taste…but I remember my brother mentioning once that he'd want to smoke from a skull before…and it seemed like a pretty popular idea among the group. Evil warlords have been drinking from human skulls for millennia…but smoking from a skull just doesn't seem that impressive…or feasible really. There's a lot of holes, breaches in cartilage, probably a few cracks caused by the removal process, and without some kind of crazy glue (emphasis on crazy) or some adjustments, it just seems like a waste. Anyway, that's my take. Oh…and grave robbing is bad. Please don't dig up bodies in general. It's a bit of a health hazard.

Sinatra Gets A Stamp - A new 42-cent stamp goes on sale Tuesday commemorating Frank Sinatra, one of America's most popular entertainment superstars of all time. Three separate ceremonies will be held in New York, Las Vegas, and Hoboken starring various politicians and family members to kick off the new promotion. Oddly enough, I need some stamps as of this morning, so I may have to swing by the Post Office and get me some tomorrow…on the way to pick up Season three of "Drawn Together" of course. Anyway, that's usually when you know that you've made it…is getting your face on a postage stamp. Currency's a pretty good indicator too. Who knows? Maybe one day, my glorious chiseled features will be on a 73-cent stamp and there'll be separate ceremonies in Slick City, Las Vegas, and the Moon to begin sale. It could happen. Thanks for the tunes, Frankie.

Blind Man Bowls a Perfect Game - Dale Davis, a 78-year old legally blind Iowa man nicknamed "The Hammer" nailed twelve consecutive strikes Saturday night to score a perfect 300 game in bowling. Davis has suffered from macular degeneration, a chronic eye disease, for the past decade. He can't see out of his left eye and has limited peripheral vision in his right eye. His perfect game came at a four-lane alley in the small northwest Iowa community of Alta (population of about 1,800). Davis said, "It's a great sport. It's something the young, the old and the handicapped can do. I guess I count as the old and handicapped." Now, this is actually a little more impressive to me than a blind man getting a hole-in-one…because it requires twelve consecutive shots…but still, both feats are quite impressive. Congratulations, Mr. Davis!!! Glad that you enjoy the sport too. It's a great way for the young, horny, and cheap to have a fun date too…so I've found.

Well, that'll just be a quickie today. Usual busy day at work. T-minus two days until I'm in sunny Las Vegas, Nevada having a grand olde tyme with Bubbles and my dad. Oh, in other news, my brother & sister-in-law are having a bit of a spat and she's staying up at my mom's house. Also, the sun rose and the moon continues its dominance over the tides. Film at eleven. Have a great day everybody!!!