80 Questions or Less

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Hella bored again...and I got this questionairre from a buddy...so here you go. It was titled "80 Questions" but as usually there were a bunch of numbers missing (I blame public schools) so I renumbered them. There was actually an even fitty-too. Enjoy!!!

1. Do you still talk to the first person you fell the hardest for?
No…. she lives in Jersey now, I think. That didn't stop me from having an odd dream starring her last week.

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Sadly...yes...

3. Are you obsessed with someone?
Obsessed is such a strong & subjective word.

4. What is the best thing about your job?
The hotties...and the travel benefits

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
"I'm talkin' 'bout YOOOOU and ME....and HER. Simultanoeous lovin' baby, two or three..."

6. Name something that you would love to eat right now?
Your mom...and then chase it with some lobster

7. Did you get any compliments today?
Not really...but Bubbles basically called me a psychic...and my boss handpicked me for a special project...as usual.

8. Who was the last two people to call you?
My dad (pissed that I get to go to the Packers/Cowboys game on Thursday) and Amber from the American Red Cross (scheduled to give life)

9. If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, would you?
What makes you think I don't do that now? Today's the first snow in the valley. Bwahahahaha!!!

10. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Not changing the temperature of the outdoors. Maybe mind control...that'd be sweet...

11. Are you happy?
Close, I'm Dopey.

12. What's your favorite smell?
Mmm...it's a little dirty...but it's gooooood...

13. What is your favorite sound?
A woman saying my name. It's true. It may sound a little conceited...but damn it if it isn't the Troof. It's a great way of showing me that I'm doing a good job.

14. Are you moody?
SHUT UP!!!

15. Last person you hung out with?
JL Clyde the other night. We watched movies. Big surprise.

16. Have you ever tried to get back with an ex?
Nope. Good, clean, mutual breakoffs for the better. They're going to have their dream jobs someday.

17. Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
I plead the fizzith...

18. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
Yeah but has anybody really seen Alf in the last fifteen years? We seem to like the same foods. Let me know if you get that joke. I'm curious how many of you remember Alf...or have ever heard of him.

19. Have you ever gone camping?
It's been a while...but I enjoy it.

20. Are you friends with all your exes?
Yup. No hard feelings at all...and this question's getting a little repetitive

21. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Sadly...yes...in Greece...and there wasn't an age limit. No further details.

22. Have you ever had a stalker?
I honestly have. Worst part, it was a DUDE. That's why I'm against Hate Crime legistlation.

23. Thirsty?
Nope, it's Tuesday.

24. Listening to music? What are you listening to?
Not at work...but I have Jay-Z's "American Gangster" out in the car.

25. Have you ever been betrayed by any of your best friends?
How do you think I say them naked? Here's a tip...never fall asleep before your friends do...especially during junior high.

26. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Yeah...but not anymore. Due the statute of limitations, I have beared all my past indiscretions to them. I still occasionally tell them ones that I forgot about.

27. Have you ever worn your best friend's clothes?
No, I threw his clothes back to him after I saw him naked. This question's getting repetitive too. No wonder there's 80 of them. It's really like 20 questions asked four times thinking I would forget.

28. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
I watching Pumping Iron for the first time two days ago...and to see Arnold Schwarzenegger talks about how 'it feels like I'm cumming' when he's working out and thinking "25 years from now, that guys going to be Governor of Cal-i-for-ni-a" is quite disturbing. No, I've never passed out from working out...except 12 ounce curls with hard booze.

29. Have you ever gotten a bad haircut?
Have I ever gotten a GOOD haircut? Only from Amy...

30. Where are your siblings right now?
My brother's at his house with his daughter

31. Last place you kissed someone?
Actually, it was my niece...at my brother's house...on Friday...on the lips

32. Name three things you did today:?
Woke up, showered, your mother

33. Last person you text messaged?
My sister-in-law. Congratulations on your scholarship!!!

34. Future kids names?
Here's a link...and the reasons why

35. What are you doing tomorrow?
Work, packing for Dallas, your mom again

36. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
In school plays during elementary, I remember singing songs from the Sound of Music and Mr. Roboto

37. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Oh yeah. Kairi loves kisses from her Uncle $teve

38. Are you allergic to anything?
Failure

39. What is your mood?
Excited…. It's MOVIE NIGHT!!! Box Girl may be there (if she knows what's good for her and wants some good Dr. Lovin')

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
Probably...but I honestly can't blame them. Probably short people.

41. When is the last time you got flowers?
I hate this question. Somebody send me flowers for Christmas so I have a different story, please.

42. Where were you 2 hours ago?
Daydreaming at work, having a steamy fantasy about Adriana Lima (more on her tomorrow...stay tuned)

43. Where were you 4 hours ago?
In a meeting with my General Manager and a few other managers. Odd thing, I probably make more money than them. Booyah!!! Always remember this though - "Man (or Woman) make the money, money never make the Man (or Woman)"

44. What does your hair look like right now?
Like Chewbacca on a bad hair day

45. Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend?
YEEEAH!!! "...and that's the story about how grandpa popped his cherry." "That story's gay, grandpa." "You know what, you're gay. Come back to grandpa's when your balls drop, Megaman. I should've let your mother get a schmushmortion."

46. What have you eaten today?
I'm tired of saying your mom...so I'm going to say a sam'ich.

47. Is your hair naturally curly, straight, or nappy?
Straight and long

48. Who was the last friend you were in the car with?
Jay-Z...on the radio. Probably Bubbles in real life.

49. What are you looking forward to?
MOVIE NIGHT...but only because I get to play with Bubbles. YAAAAY!!! Oh...and the Dallas trip in a day-and-a-half. GO PACKERS!!!

50. What do you think about marriage?
I think everybody should have at least one. Don't knock it 'til you tried it.

51. Any of your friends getting married?
Kelli just did. Other than that...who knows? Maybe I'm next in line...

52. Is today going to be good?
YEAAAAH!!! So far, so good...and it's MOVIE NIGHT!!! I'm Audi...