Moments Before I Sleep

I have no idea what you do before you sleep (probably your significant other, if you're lucky) but my routine is something of this fashion. First, I'll either work until 1 AM or watch stupid movies, TV shows, etc. with/without company, or do dishes or something until the resting hour...usually still around midnight to 1 AM. Then, I'll disrobe my garments of the day, feeling a cool breeze over my body from the fan over my bed (during the summer; winter months feature a chilling breeze from the microscopic crevasses around my bedroom window frame), then I'll brush my teeth. I'm not going to lie. I usually check myself out in the mirror a bit...and why not? I'm worth it. Some people may call me narcissistic with that attitude. Those people need to see the amount of mirrors in my bedroom. I say it's more confidence than arrogance. Besides, the mirrors in the bedroom aren't for me as much as for the ladies that (rarely) visit for a nap.

Anyway, after checking myself out & getting my pearly whites their pearliest, I'll usually write down a little something in my journal (real paper) and then say a little prayer thanking the Powers that Be for all that I've been given, the people I interact with, & the blessings that I wish for them (health, wealth, happiness, love, etc.) then comes those moments before you go to sleep. I figure that most people are like me & think about the day's events, tomorrow's to-do list, & the future's promise...and occasionally that hot florist that you say at Albertson's earlier in the day when she was watering the hydrangeas near the bottom (lonely guys often do this). Well, the other day, I was reflecting as usual...and on the way home from work at 1 AM, I had been listening to the greatest hits of the Wu Tang Clan...and it reminded me of my earlier days back in high school. When my mentality was a little more...dedicated to an incredible dream future. As you may have read earlier, I've wanted to be a professional basketball player since I was 8 years old...and God knows that I had the talent...but like a fool, I focused on academics more than school yard politickin' & all that mess. However, I still had an attitude that I could do ANYTHING I wanted to if I just put my mind & body into it. Where did I get this attitude from?

Some might say that my parents had instilled it into me. They may be right. However, there was much more. The attitude that gave me the strength to go on when others would have surrendered to mediocrity...was probably drilled into me by rap music. Back in the day (I can say that because it was damn near a decade ago now), my buddies & I could have made money the fast way, ski mask way if you will, but we decided against it & preferred the method of hard work & entrepeneurship. Why? Because cash rules everything around me, CREAM, get the money, dollar dollar bills y'all. When times were rough & I needed a little inspiration to get me through the job, I heard the timeless melodic voice of Earl Simmons (Dark Man X) singing:

"One more road to cross,

One more inch to take,

Gotta live my Life

Like there's one more move to make."

Or listening to Puff Daddy (before the Diddy Days) & the Lox singing "I Got the Power" driving around in my firecracker red '85 Camaro (her name was Carmen) thinking that one day, the world would be mine...like Tony Montana. Alas, I remember the first person younger than me to be drafted into the NBA (Darius Miles with the 3rd pick of the 2000 draft) and my dreams of playing pro ball have basically gone the way of the Great Auk. Or more appropriately, the Coelacanth? There's still a possibility...like Arnold Schwarzenegger winning the Presidential primary against the Democratic representative Senator Predator...but it's still a possibility.

Is that to say that I'm disappointed with the path that I've chosen? Not at all. Were I on the road 8 months out of the year (10 when I'm chosen for the Olympic squad), then I wouldn't have been able to see my family as much. Had I decided even to go to Weber State instead of the U, I wouldn't have met all the wonderful people that I have at school & my job, wouldn't have traveled to so many places, and experience as much as I have. Sure, it would have been other things, but I couldn't really ask for anything more...except maybe a little extra money to share with the peeps, but as I've been taught "Man makes the Money. Money never makes the Man." So it is with that, that I thank you all for listening to me ramble about...really nothing except my pre-sleep habits, lessons learned through hip-hop, & 'fallen' dreams...but if you learn nothing else from this blog entry, please remember one thing - Wu Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with!!!

P.S. The sun rose this morning. There was a murder in Detroit, Michigan. The price of postage stamps increased. The San Antonio Spurs continue their domination over the Utah Jazz. George W. Bush did something stupid today. Somewhere a child is crying because they have to do homework before they can hang with their friends & experiment with drugs...or cut themselves. I was disappointed with that EMO report on Channel 4 news as well.