Independence Week '07

Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen,

I am starting to get super excited for the week Starting July 4th...and more than just for the usual patriotic ceremonies. Allow me to go into slightly more detail as to my excitement...and please don't laugh.

Wednesday, July 4th - Independence Day - Yes, in case you were wondering, I will be one of those nerds watching the midnight premiere of "Transformers" this day. Let's just get that out in the open right now. Why at midnight? Because kids will be at the other presentation...and I can't stand those little bastards commenting on every little thing during the movie. I made my mistake most recently with "Spiderman 3" where I heard a child saying every 5 seconds for at least 17 minutes "That's Peter Parker. He's Spiderman." "That's Peter Parker. He's Spiderman." I just felt like yelling "Uh ugh, it's Tobey Maguire. Spiderman is fake...just like Santa Claus." The morning starts with a parade going on in downtown clogging up the infrastructure on an Olympic city (by the way, I live in Slick City if you don't know me) and exposing many lily white children to massive amounts of heat & radiation. Luckily, I'll be several miles away asleep in my bed enjoying my day off from work thanks to the Founding Fathers. I will be enjoying my patriotic festivities around dusk when the fireworks go off & I chase a few hot dogs with a few brews. Also, this also marks my dad & stepmom's 10th anniversary, so I hope my dad's prepared with something shiny & expensive.

Thursday, July 5th - Wake up with a mild hangover...then work until 1 AM on this, the greatest day of the week...PAYDAY!!!

Friday, July 6th - Wake up earlier than I want because I have to be to work again at 10 AM but God willing, I may still have a girlfriend to spend some time with when I'm off at the surprising early hour of 6 PM. Is it sad that I have to schedule when I get to spend intimate time with friends, family, & significant others? A little bit...but it could be worse. I could be my BROTHER!!! (Hopefully, he just read that part...he's a cool cat & has a great sense of humor)

Saturday, July 7th - 7/7/7 - Congratulations to my Wingman & his Fiance Brown Bear!!! They will be getting married this day in a small ceremony...with lots of booze afterwards, I've been assured. The 7/7/7 is quite fitting because you two are lucky to have eachother. Enjoy the rest of your lives together!!!

Sunday, July 8th - I'll probably be recovering from the reception Saturday night...then watching some WNBA action, particularly the late game where the stunning Diana Taurasi & the Phoenix Mercury go up against the two-time world champion Detroit Shock in a cream corn wrestling match.

Monday, July 9th - Back to work unless I decide to use a personal day claiming that I need to properly celebrate O.J. Simpson's 60th birthday. Wow, 60 years old. It seems like just yesterday he was slashing through NFL defenses like a hot knife through gold diggers.....legally. I'll probably come up with a better excuse. It's Nicola Tesla's birthday too.

Tuesday, July 10th - Wake up in time to get one of the 5 copies of Season 2 of "Drawn Together" that will be at my local Best Buy (that's how it always is with the good stuff) and watch a few episodes before heading off to work. I will definitely go this day...unless I'm properly motivated to stay in bed by my girlfriend...but that would take a lot of convincing...like at least twice...between episodes.

I hope that you feel a little more knowledgeable about how I plan things. Kind of half-ass but always flexible when intimate relations is involved. So congratulations once again to my Wingman & his Brown Bear!!! Make sure to congratulate them when you see them. Also, I would like to congratulate my favorite team since 1989, the San Antonio Spurs on yet another victory over the Utah Jazz. The Jazz have yet to win in San Antonio since last millennium...but you have to admire their spirit. Until next time, have a great day...and be well to each other.