Electricity, Magic, Dead Presidents, & Aliens

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a fun little out-of-work get-together with some of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Best part was…we were getting PAID for it. WOO-HOO!!! I won't go into any more detail until I get some good accompanying pictures from JL Clyde to go with these details…but it was a lot of fun…despite half the stuff at Hollywood Connection not working (including Skee ball). I'd also like to thank the Boss Ladies for sponsoring us…and Boss Lady D & her husband for hosting the after party at her house out in BFE. Also, big thanks to Big Bob & Lilie for covering for us while we were getting drunk (don't worry, I was a DD) and all the wonderful guests at the party for being awesome. Anyway, again more details when I gets me some pictures.


My mom asked me this morning if I'd accompany her on a work trip that's going to be about two weeks long. Normally, I'm more than willing to take two weeks off & travel the Earth with my mom…but it's for next month…and I have no idea what's going on over the course of the next few weeks…so I RSVP'd as a Tentative. Also, the destinations aren't exactly the most exotic in the world…but still not too bad.


Great Falls, Montana - Two days to see the "Electric City" (named so because of the numerous dams & power plants…if that's the case, just call it the "Dam City"). Even Lewis & Clark had to spend a month here during their historic journey westward in 1805. The least I could do is spend two days there…and witness the splendor of Giant Springs Heritage State Park, the Paris Gibson Square Museum of Art, the O'Haire Motor Inn, home of the Sip-n-Dip Tiki Lounge, rated #1 bar in the World by GQ Magazine (April 2003) and where they have a REAL LIVE MERMAID!!! Also, since my mom will be there on business, we may have to stop by the Malmstrom Air Force Base to see some Minutemen Missiles & a Huey helicopter that they have on display at the museum. Majestic mountains, mermaids, and missiles. What else could you ask for in a city?


Minot, North Dakota - Three days to explore "The Magic City" (still trying to find out why it's called that), the 4th largest city in North Dakota…to which I ask, what are the other three larger? I know one has to be Fargo. Isn't Bismarck the capital? I generally don't like cities named after German dictators since I spent a horrible weekend in Hitler, Idaho. That complimentary breakfast just didn't seem right. As far as attractions in the area, there's apparently a Point of View Winery about ten minutes out of town, the Roosevelt Park & Zoo (no pandas but penguins, tigers, and a river otter exhibit), an art gallery (probably modern), the Scandinavian Heritage Visitors Center, and I'm hoping that my mom can hook me up with seeing a bomber or something at the Air Force Base out there. That'd be sweet. I can also just drive north a few miles to the Canadian border. It's only a few hours to happening places like Saskatoon & Winnipeg.


South Dakota - During the weekend, we have three days open to drive from Minot to Cheyenne…and since we were in the area, we figured that we could drive to some of the wonderful sights of South Dakota like Mount Rushmore, the Crazy Horse Memorial, Jewel Cave & Wind Cave National Park, Deadwood, Sturgis, Black Hills National Forest & the Badlands in between, and whatever else we can fit in during that time. I remember going through that area as a kid (twenty years ago) and it was awesome.


Cheyenne, Wyoming - Not given one of those cheesy Magic or Electric city names, but Cheyenne is Sioux for "Aliens" which is kind of cool. So it may be "The Alien City" but in the way of "The Foreigner City", not the "The Extra-Terrestrial City". Foreigner rocks!!! This city may be the toughie. We have four days in the capital of Wyoming (which I always thought was a W) and the list of attractions include botanical gardens, a bison ranch, a steam engine, mini golf, carriage rides, a cemetery, a lot of Western stores, and 8 foot tall painted boots scattered throughout the city. Not sure what I was expecting from Wyoming…a state that I only know exists because it's about a two hour's drive away from Slick City to the border town of Evanston, where a young man can get more high point alcohol, fireworks, and porn that he knows what to do with…all at the same store. You know…so I'm told. I may just have to see how much a flight back to Slick City would be so that I can earn some money to pay for this trip. Then again, it's pretty close to Denver...and I did promise that I'd visit JJ there, so perhaps I'll have to make a stop in the Mile High City to say howdy. We shall see if this works out. In the meantime, here's some news…


Chinese UFO - Speaking of Aliens & flying saucers, a Chinese company called Harbin Smart Special Aerocraft Co Ltd has developed a prototype flying saucer that can hover in the air and be controlled remotely from afar. The aircraft is 1.2 meters (four feet) in diameter and is able to take off and land vertically and hover at an altitude of up to 1,000 meters. The unmanned disc is driven by a propeller and can be controlled remotely or sent on a preset flight path. Its top speed is 80 kilometers (50 miles) per hour, The company spend 12 years and about $4 million to develop the craft…and says that it's designed for aerial photography, geological surveys, emergency lighting, reconnaissance missions, and possible bombing of Tibet. Okay, the last two were made up…or were they? Keep your eyes on the skies, people. If I've said it once, I've said it thousand times, the Chinese are TOO nice to be trusted. Especially with this kind of extraterrestrial technology.


C*ck Lobster - A Brooklyn restaurant cook is accused of stealing frozen lobster tails by stuffing them down his pants. The Brooklyn district attorney's office said Tuesday that Raymundo Flores has been arraigned on misdemeanor charges of petit larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. Co-workers called 911 on Sunday to report a crustacean caper at the walk-in freezer at Junior's Restaurant. Police say they found lobster tails that Flores allegedly had hidden in his pants and in bandages on his legs. Petit larceny? Have any of these people ever purchased lobster at a restaurant? That's highway robbery. Maybe they sell it at a discount because it's been down the cook's pants…but still, petit larceny? It may have just been a way to battle the heat wave or something. It's like my Grandpa Love used to tell me, "Better Lobster than Crabs." He was a cool cat…who was a veteran of three wars…and apparently a lot of shore leave. Sad thing is…I still think lobster tails are excellent…even after this story. You may just want to wash them off before dipping them in butter sauce next time you're at Red Lobster or something. I can't seem to get that B-52's song out of my head now. What the hell?


Anyway, that'll end it for me today. Tune in next time, where I may have pictures from the party, maybe another Movie List, and who knows what else? Have a great day everybody!!!

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see. Yesterday, I cleaned up around the house a little bit, then watched "The Gameplan" starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It was exactly what you expected from the preview. The Rock was his usual fairly funny and charismatic self...oh and playing a football player...but it was a stretch because he played defensive end at the University of Miami years ago...but in this movie, he was a quarterback. Completely different. Anyway, it was okay...because it followed the standard Disney format in what was basically the next in a line of shows similar to "Three Men & A Baby", "Big Daddy", and "Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant."



Okay, so you caught me. I watched "Scott Baio is 46 & Pregnant" yesterday too...and I simply just can't stand listening to Scott Baio...yet I can't seem to turn away from the screen. For those who don't know, Scott Baio told his long-time girlfriend Renee at the end of the first season ("Scott Baio is 45 & Single") that he's ready for a committed relationship...to which she announced her pregnancy. So how does Scott react? "That's great. Oh my God, we're bringing a child into the world. I'm so happy." Oh wait, that wasn't it. He ran away from his own party, stole a catering truck, and sat at a golf course for a few hours. Then he spent the next hour of the show saying how this is completely going to destroy his life and how it effects him. I think they need to change the name of the show to "Scott Baio is 13 & a Valley Girl" because of how everything effected him and him alone. Granted, I talk about myself CONSTANTLY on this blog...because it's all I know for certain...and even then, it's sketchy. However, that is because I don't have a beautiful pregnant girlfriend who loves me, a baby in her belly, and I'm not an asshole to EVERYBODY I meet. He even bought a 7300 square foot home...and complained because he couldn't get completely away from his girlfriend when she needed help MOVING IN. Why do I watch the show then? Because I'm waiting for that moment where he realizes all the great stuff that he has going for him...and as soon as he see that little girl's eyes, he'll snap out of his selfish ways...and be a MAN and a DAD. I may be waiting in vain...but I'm hoping for this family's sake that he does. It certainly worked for my brother...sort of. Still waiting on him to get a real job. Anyway, enough of my rant about how Scott Baio effects ME. What do you think?

About the time this show got over, I got a text from Bubbles saying "Did you hear what celebrity died today?" "No, who?" No reply...so I went online...and found out that Heath Ledger had allegedly committed suicide. Didn't see that one coming at all. It's a shame. Not just because he was a young, talented actor...but because it always sucks to hear about people going through rough times too late. It's a real tragedy that he didn't have anybody that he could turn to...or if he did, that he didn't know that or could or wasn't willing to expose himself to those friends or loved ones because of...whatever reasons. If any of you are ever feeling down & out, I don't care what time it is or where I'm at, give me a call and we can talk about it. Hell, I'll come to your house and we can hug it out. Unfortunately, I've been exposed to the effects of suicide a few times in my life...and it's really about the most horrible thing to go through...because you feel like you could have done so much more to help them...if only you had known they felt that way. Also, I do realize that it's not conclusive that he purposely did it. It very well may have been an accidental overdose. However, the opportunity for an accident to present itself was made...and there was six prescriptions involved...and yeah, it was seriously a bad situation. There was a time in 7th grade...where my hormones were really out of whack (thanks puberty) and I thought about crazy stupid stuff like that...but luckily my mom was there for me. She helped me to realize all the wonderful things that I have going for me and to appreciate life for what it is...and that no matter what happens, she will always love me and care for me. That worked surprisingly well...considering how irrational I was at the time. Anyway, I guess it's too late for Mr. Ledger...and I can only pray for his family & friends to find some peace with this eventually. It may not be easy...but it'll happen. My condolences.

Enough of this depressing stuff, last night Mr. & Mrs. Wingman stopped by, bringing with them the necessary ingredients for a fine crab leg dinner. I provided the alcoholic beverages and the entertainment. As they cooked (in my poorly ventilated kitchen), we caught up on stories of child rearing & new nephews, goings on, and all the usual comedic medley that is a night with the three of us. Good times. We're gonna have to schedule another weekend in Vegas soon. After gorging ourselves with crab and rice, we kicked back and watched "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and the first half of the sequel. We also had these wonderful all natural fruitsicle things called Helados Mexico. Good call on those. It went surprsingly well with the Jose Cuervo Black Medallion and Cola, which I tried because the commercial said it would work...and it was surprisingly smooth...since Tequila usually brings flashbacks of a horrible experience when I was 18. Not this drink though. This was good. One part tequila and three parts cola does the trick. After they left, I watched "Saw IV" and it was yet another Saw movie. Gory. Violent. Twisted. Donnie Wahlberg. The first four minutes of the movie is a detailed autopsy. Yeah, if you like the Saw movies, then check it out. If not, then why watch it?

Today is my dad's birthday!!! I've already bored you to death before by talking about him and all that he's done for me. Teaching me right & wrong (usually by example in both cases), teaching me about cars and helping with math & stuff when I was a kid, providing for me & my family by working as a cop on the swing shift for many years, teaching me about the intricacies of 1980's rock music, showing me how to take responsibility for my actions, explaining to me why a straight beats four of a kind, teaching me discipline, how to overcome addictions, and all the other usual dad stuff. We may be doing something this weekend...but we both work all the time...and when he's not working, he tends to sleep...or have some chore to do to fill his weekends. Those are the good guys right there...and I'm lucky enough to have one for a father. Thanks Dad!!! Hopefully, we'll be able to hang out this weekend...and then get some Utah Blaze tickets for this next season on Monday. Good times.

Speaking of 80's rock music, I stumbled upon "Rock of Love 2" today on VH1 and it is a hilariously bad show. All the girls are catty...though some are really, really hot. But the thing that I like about it...is little nuggets of wisdom from Bret Michaels like "I'm looking for a supernatural kind of connection with these girls...and when I saw Angelique licking chocolate mousse off her own breasts, you have to admit, there is definitely a supernatural connection there." Awesome. I don't foresee me watching this show anymore...but you never know...if I get bored enough. Anyway...and now here's the news.

Hint to US Restaurants - Beijing's first smoke-free restaurant chain faces going out of business after its customers deserted it in droves after the ban was enforced. The Chinese are the world's most enthusiastic smokers (always losing to China, aren't we), with a growing market of more than 350 million, making it a magnet for cigarette companies and a focus of international health concerns. Patronage has dropped drastically but Guo Xiaodong, deputy director of the Meizhou Dongpo restaurant chain was quoted as saying "We figure that if we're going to die, at least we're going to die honorably." The Beijing Olympics are only about 200 days away...and the Prime Minister of China Wen Jiabao has sent written requests to over 30,000 restuarants to ban smoking for a "Smoke-free Olympics" that he promised years ago. By the way, I brought back some cigarettes from China when I went for some people here in the states (because they were like a nickel a pack over there) and they're worth every cent...and not one cent more.

Smoke-Free Olympics Update - According to the Beijing education bureau department, "On days with heavy pollution, or great humidity, (outdoor) sports classes will be completely cancelled and instead indoor courses on sports theory will be held. This fully conforms with scientific reasoning and ... will help prevent adverse health effects on students." The Olympic host city ranked third to last in the first-ever survey of public attitudes toward the environment in all 31 provincial and regional capitals, the Beijing News reported. Now, when I was there nearly three years ago, I remember standing in Tianamen Square, the largest public square in the world, before the entrance to the Forbidden City, a palace of 9,999 rooms spread over several square miles (Scott Baio's trying to rent it) and looking around and thinking "Wow, this is amazing...at least what I can see through this brown toxic stuff floating through the air." Here in Slick City, we get this weather phenomenon called an "Inversion" where air doesn't really pass through the mountains and all our exhaust and pollution and what-have-you gets stuck here until it rains or a storm comes in or something. The pollution of nearly a million people can be hard on the lungs.

Now, Beijing is over 20 million people...also located in a desert...near mountains (where the Great Wall of China can be found) and gets FAR less precipitation than Slick City does. Instead of "Inversion" they kind of have a "Permanent Inversion" or "Permaversion." For some reason though, the last day I was there, I was in the worst hail & rain storm that I've ever experienced. It literally looked like a waterfall coming from the sky with chunks of ice (weird because it was about 70 degrees) and it lasted...about fifteen minutes. The air was crisp and clean that night. The next morning, back to normal conditions where it's hard to breathe. I can only imagine trying to run the 1500 meter dash (or God forbid, a marathon) in those kinds of conditions...where kids can't even play hipscotch or four-square (holla if you love four-square) or Red Rover or anything like that.

Dead Tired - When 81-year old Chilean man Feliberto Carrasco's family members discovered his body limp and cold, they were convinced that the octogenarian's hour had come, so they immediately called a funeral home, not a doctor. They dressed Mr. Carrasco in his finest suit and placed him in his coffin for his wake. His nephew Pedro walked up. "I couldn't believe it. I thought I must be mistaken, and I shut my eyes. When I opened them again, my uncle was looking at me. I started to cry and ran to get something to open up the coffin to get him out." All he wanted was a glass of water. That is one sound sleeper. I just imagine them dressing him in his suit...throwing him in a pine box...driving a few nails into it...and he still doesn't even toss or turn or anything. Amazing.

Fortune Cookie of the Day - "The Next Full Moon Will Bring An Enchanting Evening...in Bed." - Woo-hoo!!! Here's to looking at February 20th, the Full Snow Moon and a Total Lunar Eclipse around 10:30 PM EST. An enchanting evening indeed...and right around National Single Awareness Day...how convenient!!! Not a lot of good luck with that particular day...but more on that when it rolls around. Speaking of unfortunate fortune, the Mad Scientist just informed me that the Double Blind Date lady got back with her ex-boyfriend. Nice. Oh well, that just frees me up for the next Full Moon.

Anyway, that's really about it for today. Sorry if it was a little depressing, especially through that first part, but just remember to appreciate the great things that you have and let those around you know how much you care for them. That's really all I've got. Big thanks to Mr. & Mrs. Wingman for the crabs last night (Please don't take that out of context) and good luck with the babymaking. Thank you to everybody else out there. Happy Birthday DAD!!! Have a great day everybody!!!