Mythbusters & Baby Pics

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

I know that you've missed me these past...well, seven hours or so. Okay, probably not...but here's another entry since you probably haven't read yesterday's yet. No biggie. My schedule's a little out there sometimes. Besides, the earlier I get to work, the earlier I can go home...and I have a three-day weekend. Yippee!!! First things first though, I did receive a call from Bubbles last night at work shortly before leaving...and she went to the emergency room because she couldn't keep anything down...but she says that she's doing a little better now...and should be working with me later today. Whew. I'm glad that she's okay.

This morning, I woke up, showered, got dressed, got some Loaded Breakfast burritos at Carl's Jr. for my breakfast, and then was quickly reminded why I like my usual schedule. It took me 20 minutes to get on the freeway (I live two miles from it tops) and then another 20 minutes to go the four miles on the freeway to work. I dislike traffic very much. About halfway through the freeway portion, I was reminded that I had not taken my Morning Deuce...and needed to find a bathroom quickly. I finally made it to the parking lot...and then a lady flagged me down because her motorcycle had tipped over and she needed some help lifting it. Heavy lifting is not the best thing when you're prairie dogging...but being the gentleman that I am, I helped out...and my sphincter held true. Long story short, I made it...just barely. During the last minute or so, I swear that I could here some kind of dramatic thriller music gradually getting louder until the finally violin strum...and bass drum roll. How's that for overdramatizing my bowel movement? True story though.

World Domination Update - It's official. With a blogger from Egypt checking in at least once, I have spread to SIX continents in less than a month. All I need now is a Penguin to use their laptop in Antarctica...and my mission is complete. Bwahahahahahahaaa!!! I mean...thanks everybody. You guys rock!!! Hopefully I'm entertaining you guys to the best of my abilities.

Mythbusters - I like the show Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel. What's not to like about a show where loveable engineering nerds get to test urban legends and myths? However, I find myself yelling at the screen sometimes because they test the myths...but not in the most effective way. Like the launching a human being with a bunch of pressurized 2-liter bottle rockets and it kept pulling down because the center of gravity was off-center. So I yelled at the screen, "Tuck the feet up. The center of gravity is off. Put Buster in the fetal position, then launch him off the pier. It'll work dammit!!!" Only now do I realize that it was actually taped months (possibly years) earlier...and even IF Adam & Jamie could have heard me, it was too late.

Okay, but the real reason that I watch the show...is Kari Byron. She is gorgeous...and an engineering nerd. When she rocks the pigtails. Giggidy!!! However, despite her flawless appearance, quick wit, and seemingly pleasant nature, I think that there's a conspiracy to it. I believe...that she is actually a robot. How else could she be so seemingly perfect? Engineering nerd, always smiling and gorgeous, redhead, great lung capacity, funny & charming, it all seems to add up. She very well may be a prototypical sexbot years ahead of her time. Anyway, more on that as evidence shows itself. I've sent a few emails to Mythbusters (such as the bottle launcher idea previously stated) but I think that they disregard them...because I usually end the message by offering my services in a great spin-off idea for a show that can be shown during the later hours. It involves Ms. Byron and myself starring in "Nutbusters" as we investigate the truth behind sexual urban legends and myths. I already have the first season's worth of ideas taken care of...and there should be plenty of viewer mail for what they'd like to see Kari & I test out. What do you think? Would you watch?

Anyway, back to the PG-rated universe. With my last entry about all those baby movies. I thought that I would share with you some of my baby pictures...because at one time, I was fairly cute...and I like to reminisce on those days. Anyway, here are a few that I happened to have handy...and most of them feature my mom and/or brother Kiel too, so enjoy...

The first picture of $teve?

The prophecy has been fulfilled!!!

Go forth and spread the word!!!

I like this picture of my mom & me.

Mostly because she's smiling and I look like a drugged Gremlin.

My brother and me

Here's an 18th century wood carving

of me feeding my brother.

Another picture of me feeding him.

What am I trying to see? God bless LASIK surgeons.

Age 6 - Notice how I'm almost as tall as Donald Duck

It's a running theme in my life.

Anyway, that's enough for me today. Busy day at work...so I'd better get on the ball. My three day weekend is just a few hours away. Wish me luck!!! Have a great weekend yourself. Peace.

Afternoon Laziness

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, let's see. After work yesterday, I went home to finish watching Season 2 of Drawn Together...and after about fifteen minutes, fell asleep. No, not because it was a boring show...but I guess my exhaustion just caught up with me. It does that from time to time. I'll just finally be able to sit down and relax...then I'm waking up about a half-hour later wondering what the hell happened. Hopefully it's not a radon leak or something...but I'll keep you posted. So yeah, if you haven't seen "Drawn Together" for one reason or another (no Comedy Central, Entertainment Weekly giving it an F rating, high moral standards, etc.) then I think that you should. If you like my blog, you'll probably like the show...and if you don't like my blog, why are you reading this? Don't get me wrong, it's appreciated. Anyway, enough about that.

The Score (2001) - I had never seen the full version of this movie...but it's a great thievery movie full of drama, conflict both internal & external, and brings together probably the greatest actors from three generations - Edward Norton, Robert DeNiro, & Marlon Brando. I can't really do a list for these three guys...because just about every movie they've been in would win a medal...and they've been around for a while. Marlon Brando though, rest in peace, but that guy is such a good actor that he can demand millions of dollars to be in a movie for about ten minutes of screen time. No nudity either. Now that's pull. DeNiro, sure he did "Rocky & Bullwinkle" and "Angel Heart" (for about five minutes of screen time) but other than that...nothing but great films. Ed Norton, I don't care what you say, I liked "Death to Smoochy." Anyway, this movie rocked. If you're a frustrated bank robber like me, then you may want to check this movie out.

Another cool thing about this movie, it was directed by Yoda. I'm serious. Director Frank Oz is the voice of Yoda...as well as Fozzy, Miss Piggy, Bert, Grover, the Cookie Monster, and my favorite animal, Animal. Just something to think about while you're watching...but it doesn't really mean anything. He also directed "The Dark Crystal", "Little Shop of Horrors", a few Muppet movies, and "Stepford Wives." Allegedly, during the filming of this movie, Marlon Brando (in his final performance, by the way) called Frank "Miss Piggy" in a condescending fashion. Isn't that ironic? Frank Oz must be a real gentleman because I would have retaliated with telling Mr. Brando in my best Yoda voice, "The pot calling the kettle black, is that not? Jabba, on your mark, get your ass." I'm sure that Marlon would have given out a lovely baritone chuckle and spoke some Tattoinne language with subtitles. Anyway, great movie.

P.S. After "The Score", I gave "Jane Austen's Mafia!" (Flush It in Comedy) another shot...and it still sucks. However, I was reminded of a new Flush It for Comedy by somebody...and it's "Napoleon Dynamite." Please explain to me what's supposed to be so damn funny about that movie. Is it that it's so lame? Is it that Jon Heder looks like he's going to sneeze throughout the whole movie? It inspires me though. If that movie can make money, then my movie can make money. All I need is a few crazy people to think that it's funny...and they'll tell their crazy friends to go see it...then they'll tell their friends how much it sucked...so they'll have to see it first-hand...and by then I would have covered production costs ($20) just in time for its national release. It's a sweet idea.

Happy 69th birthday to the legendary Ben E. King!!! One of the great R&B singers of the 60's is still alive and kicking. If you're not familiar with him, he sings "Stand by Me" which the Top 10 in both 1961 and 1986 as well as some of the great 'doo-wop' songs of the era such as "Spanish Harlem", "Save the Last Dance", "I (Who Have Nothing)", and "This Magic Moment." If you don't have a greatest hits album of his, head down to Wal-Mart (or your iTunes site) and you can get it for ten bucks tops. It's worth every penny and more. Also, feel free to stop by the Stand by Me Foundation website and help out your fellow man. Tell Ben that I said hi. We're tight like that.

Well, today I'm off from work. For lunch, I'm going to meet up with my grandma (the seventeen kids one) and another woman in her seventies to discuss our trip to Europe in a few weeks...and see what they are wanting, willing, and able to do while in Barcelona, Nice, Florence, Naples, Rome, Sicily, etc. It should be a great time. Hopefully, the fact that they're in their seventies won't slow us down...but that's cool. The trip is really for them. I've seen about half of the cities already...and I'm just there to cater to them, you know? That reminds me. I need to ask favors of my buddies who speak Spanish, French, & Italian for some basic phrases...so I can be a true tourist...but at least one that tries. For some reason, I took German in high school...and haven't really been able to use it with anyone ever since. I do enjoy reading Ruben's blog and slowly translating it when I have extra time at work...but that's about the extent of it.

Afterwards, I may be partying. We shall see. Anyway, have a great weekend everybody!!! I'm gonna watch some Mythbusters On-Demand about Superheroes. Kari is soooo hot. Here's another picture...mostly for me.

I'm telling ya, I like the pigtails.

Excuse me, Ms. Byron. My name is $teve.

Yeah, that $teve from the letters. I was wondering if you've

considered my offer to co-star in my new show "Nutbusters."

Yes, that outfit would be perfect...for now.

On the next "Nutbusters", Kari & I are going to finally answer the myth -

Can a woman orgasm for a solid hour? (Start title sequence)