Basketball's Christmas 2008

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, yesterday was the 2008 Edition of Basketball's Christmas, toys for tots style known as the NBA Draft. "Okay, first person in line step up, grab one present, then open it up back at your bunk. (Whistle blows)" but this still turns out to be kind of heartwarming in a way because you get to see the all the single mothers break down to tears when their baby gets drafted to play basketball and they know that a new house is on the way once the paperworks finished. Always gotta show Love for mama. However, I didn't see the draft. I went to the Utah Arts Festival during that time...but more on that tomorrow. Here's a brief yet important summary of the NBA Draft and some of the future stars...in my humble opinion...

1. Chicago - Derrick Rose - Guard from Memphis - I like this kid. He seems like a great guy. That being said, I don't think he's a #1 pick kind of player...at least yet. Now, I know that he's 19 and playing point guard...and he's from Chicago so that's what gave him the extra bump...and he's a good player now. However, I watched a few Memphis games last year...and he was nothing spectacular...until the NCAA Tournament. I mean...he was like the 3rd best player on his team for most of the year (behind Chris Douglas-Roberts and Joey Dorsey easily) then he had a great run in the tournament. He was the pick that Chicago had to make...but because he has great size & skills, I think that he'll be really good someday...just not right away like Chicago's hoping. Also, now the Bulls are going to have to get another big star via trading off their former point guard Kirk Hinrich and a lot of those mediocre forwards on their roster, maybe to get a center. Best of luck with that. Da Bulls!!!

2. Miami - Michael Beasley (right) - Forward from Kansas State - I think this guy is going to be great. He's also 19 but already seems to be able to hold his own in the NBA. Not sure exactly because it seemed like he was playing against less than worthy opponents...but that may just be a testament to how great a player he is. Everybody talked about the "attitude problems" that he had...but I have no idea what they're talking about...because have they looked at the NBA recently. Oh, did he say something conceited & cocky? Did he make a mistake? Hang out with the wrong crowd? He's 19. That stuff happens. I did the same thing at that age...and I was a good kid...with similar game but no team. He, Dwyane Wade, & Shawn Marion (if they don't tradehim) may be staples in South Beach for a long time to come. Perhaps another Celtics-like 30 game turnaround next year? Only if they stay healthy. They also drafted the guy that kept Derrick Rose from getting his NCAA championship, Mario Chalmers (#34) from Kansas for a long distance bomber. Great picks, Pat!!! Maybe you'll show up to half the game this season...

3. Memphis (from Minnesota) - O.J. Mayo - Guard from USC - Now, I was curious what O.J. stood for (suspected Orthell James being born a few years before the whole O.J. Simpson murder trial, more like when he was doing Hertz commercials & Naked Gun movies) but it stands for Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo. Easily the most original...and probably ridiculous name that I've heard in a while. I tried to figure out what it means (other than something that sounds odd) and the closest I can find is that it's Not Nivo backwards...and for some reason there's a J in front of Anthony. Regardless, this guy has a LOT of hype surrounding him...and he seems talented...but at least in the games that I saw, not worth ALL the hype. I hate to say it...but he brings back thoughts of another former guard from USC named Harold Minor. Remember "Baby Jordan" who won the Slam Dunk contest...and then disappeared? Don't worry, few do. Hopefully O.J. will prove me wrong. Also, through the trade that brought him to Memphis, the Grizzlies also acquired former All-Star & random 3-point bomber Antoine Walker and the future Mr. Adriana Lima, Marco Jaric. I think the couple will like Memphis better than Minneapolis. Things are already changing for the better for them since their engagement.

4. Seattle - Russell Westbrook - Guard from UCLA - Seattle had SIX draft picks to start the day...and honestly, picking Westbrook was a surprise that I wasn't expecting. I was certain they were going with Jerryd Bayless (#11) but that's why they make the decision. He's a great point guard who may not be a superstar...but will be a consistent defender & distributor to last year's Rookie of the Year Kevin Durrant for years to come. The Sonics needed...well, just about everything except a two-guard (Durrant) and I think they did a GREAT job by getting one of my favorite players from last year, D.J. White (#29) and also getting Sasha Kaun (#56). White is just a great, surprisingly good player who knew his role at Indiana, grab all the rebounds from your teammates misses & put them back in...and he did it well. Instead of college teammate Eric Gordon (#7), now it's going to be Kevin Durrant throwing up the "passes" to D.J. (Dewayne White Jr.). He's not the biggest guy...but he plays with heart...and I like that stuff. KAAAAAAUN is a seven-footer from NCAA champion Kansas who didn't play big minutes or anything...but you can't teach size & he can block shots and grab boards...which again are exactly what the Sonics need. He's apparently been offered a HUGE contract by a Russian team so he may opt for there (why he lasted to #56) but again, the Sonics had six picks...so it was worth a shot to get his rights. They actually got some other great talent with California center DeVon Hardin & 19-year old Spanish forward Serge Jonas Ibaka Ngobila...or just Serge Ibaka. The Sonics may be pretty good if they get all their young talent working together with last year's rookies Durrant & Jeff Green...and their few veterans too.

5. Minnesota (from Memphis) - Kevin Love - Forward from UCLA - My brother from another mother Kevin Love is going to the Great White North (not racist, it's just snowy up there) and I think it's great. As you know, I think K-Love is a great player and will make any team better. Great shooter, great passer, decent defender, breaks backboards, hit full-court shots, great fundamentals all around, and seems like a great dude. He's also a great compliment to emerging superstar Al Jefferson and the other players up there. Also, with the trade that got them Love, they also acquired sharpshooter Mike Miller and a solid rebounder Jason Collins (from the last set of twin centers to come from Stanford University a few years ago...but more on that later in the draft). Randy Foye, Corey Brewer, and Rashad McCants are great young talent too. They should at least do better than last year...when they traded Kevin Garnett away. Good luck, T-Wolves!!!

6. New York - Danilo Gallinari - Forward from Italy - Coach Mike D'Antoni has some BALLS!!! However, I like the pick for a few reasons. It's a win-win-win-win situation. First win, he was probably the best talent available despite being young (again 19) and having only played in Europe...also known as the big guys with funny accent, no-touchy league...and in the video of those games, he seems like a decent player with lots of potential...and you know how I like potential. Second win, coach D'Antoni played in that league with his dad, Vittorio Gallinari a few decades ago...so it's like doing a HUGE favor for an old friend. Third win, no matter who they selected with this pick...the Knicks fans were going to bitch & moan about it. It's just what they do...especially since Boston sports teams keep winning EVERYTHING...and they're not the most gracious winners. However, the Knicks tried to trade up to get a higher pick...but they have NOTHING to deal with. "Yeah, what are you going to give us? Quentin Richardson? The guy that married Brandy? Is he still in the league? Who the hell is Renaldo Balkman?" So no dice there...however, if he turns out to be "the next Dirk Nowitzki" like some people say, then he seems like a genius. Fourth win, if Gallinari turns out to be the next Darko Milicic...then the Knicks buy out his coaching contract in two years & he walks away into the sunset with millions of dollars...and retires to Lake Como. Sounds like a great choice to me.

7. L.A. Clippers - Eric Gordon - Guard from Indiana - I like Eric Gordon. I almost feel sorry that he has to go to the NBA's wasteland, the Clippers. He's a great talent that I watch...and he just seems to be the next Allen Iverson. He's scrappy, tough, talented, and basically throws up shots that you think have absolutely no chance of going in...swish. He's drawn a lot of comparisons to AI as well as Isiah Thomas (happens when you go to Indiana) but he's not quite there yet. However, I say keep an eye on him. As long as he can stay healthy, he has potential for great things...but being a little guy, you never know. Not sure if he can...or rather should, run the point like the Clippers are hoping...but we shall see. Not a lot of help on that team...but they also drafted center DeAndre Jordan (#35) who many thought would be a top 10 pick...until they saw him play...and realized that they were just basing that on the fact that he's big. Sad thing is...that nobody wants to play for the Clippers...and for good reason. Sure, I would play for the Clippers...but that's compared to my other options...which are to play for the Taylor 3rd Ward Seniors Church League. "T3 BABY!!! THIS IS MY HOUSE!!! Oops...sorry God, my bad!!! (Kiss to the skies)"

8. Milwaukee - Joe Alexander - Forward from West Virginia - I've only seen Joe play once this last year...and I was impressed. He seems like a great kid with fundamentals and a sweet mid-range jumper. The Bucks also traded to get All-Star forward Richard Jefferson to go along with current All-Star sharpshooter Michael Redd and emerging stars like Andrew Bogut (GO U!!!), Charlie Villanueva, & Desmond Mason. Their other pick was Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (#37) from UCLA and he's a pretty good player too. So they may not have a superstar face to the franchise...but an ensemble of B-list players that if they click...can do good things.

9. Charlotte - D.J. Augustin - Guard from Texas - Great point guard...but being around six-foot believe it or not is a little undersized. It's okay though...because the reason the Bobcats drafted him...was because the four players from UNC that declared from the draft decided to go back to school. Also, D.J.'s full name is Darrell Gerard Augustin, jr. Last I checked, that's D.G. Well, I guess the Darrell Junior thing works. Anyway, he should be a good fit for them and now Raymond Felton can move over to his natural position of undersized two-guard.

10. New Jersey - Brook Lopez (left) - Center from Stanford - The first real big guy of the draft...and one of the Lopez twins from Stanford (remember Collins mention earlier?), he may be the steal of the draft. Of course, he may also be the Spencer Hawes of this year's draft...but I think positively...and he really has no competition in the Eastern Conference to be a dominant center except Dwight Howard & KG. The soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets also traded to get Chinese superstar Yi Jianlian (who finally got his & his nation's wish of a bigger market than Milwaukee) and drafted Memphis' best player last year, shooting guard Chris Douglas-Roberts a.k.a. CDR (#40) so they could be pretty good. I say that about a lot of teams...but it depends on chemistry & health. I think the Nets stepped up though...and they also freed up some cap space so they can try to convince a LeBron or Gilbert Arenas to go to Brooklyn. I mean...think about it...Brook Lopez in Brooklyn. Add in the Chinese market, CDR, a possible new superstar, AND Vince Carter's already there. part-owner Jay-Z's got himself a great team...if not just from a marketing standpoint. "IT'S THE ROC!!! HOLLA!!!"

11. Portland (from Indiana) - Jerryd Bayless - Guard from Arizona - My prove to be the steal of the draft because I was sure that he was going to go at #4 to Seattle...but he joins a great team that just missed out on the playoffs in the West...along with last year's #1 overall pick Greg Oden who has yet to play an NBA game...but even if he does turn out to be the next Sam Bowie, he at least has a few good years in him & with a top young center AND point guard coming in on a decent team with emerging superstars like Brandon Roy & Lamarcus Aldridge, the Blazers could be a team to watch.

15. Phoenix - Robin Lopez - Center from Stanford - The other Lopez brother joins a team that is in transition with a new coach, a few personnel changes (possibly dropping Shaq?), and a lot of expectations. It's a good pick for Phoenix because it gives them a more mobile option at center with still great size...but I honestly think that his brother got the better deal in Jersey.

17. Indiana (from Toronto) - Roy Hibbert - Center from Georgetown - I was hoping that he'd fall a bit so that the Spurs could get him...but I like Roy Hibbert. He's big (and you can't teach that), he's got a few moves, fills the lane on defense, and the Pacers lucked out to get him.

23. Utah - Kosta Koufos - Center from Ohio State - Because Hibbert didn't fall, they went with the best available center who is actually a pretty solid player from THE Ohio State University. Little surprised that the Cavaliers passed on him at #19 but should be a decent player. Just in case, they also drafted a 7-1 Croatian center named Ante Tomic (#44) who I'm told has decent skills.

26. San Antonio - George Hill - Guard from IUPUI - Just in case you were wondering too, IUPUI stands for Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis...which seems redundant to me...but apparently he averaged over 20 points a game last year in college and if the Spurs picked him...he's pretty good. I mean...for the first time in a decade or so, they picked an American in the first round. Then again, last time was Leon Smith straight out of high school...and they traded him immediately. Oh well, we shall see. They also got a forward from Maryland named James Gist III (#57) a.k.a. JG3 or something. Is that Brazilian guy Tiago Splitter from last year going to play for them yet?

27. New Orleans - Darrell Arthur - Forward from Kansas - Projected as a Top 10 pick by many, then drafted by New Orleans at #27, then traded to Portland, then Houston, then Memphis...all on what was to be the greatest day of his life. It's a little sad to hear...but honestly, this guy's really good. There was a lot of concern about some alleged kidney ailment...but he's a seven-footer with great athleticism and skills...and now, a chip on his shoulder from 26 teams (including the Spurs for some reason) saying "No thanks...we're gonna go with this guy". Not only that...but because of the trades, he has specific teams (all in the Western conference) that said, he thinks these specific guys and/or future draft picks are a better fit than you. Honestly, I hope this guy goes on to be an MVP one day. He's already an NCAA champion. Perhaps the matching of him & Mayo will be something great for a long time. Oh also, on that whole kidney thing...he reminds me a lot of another guy who had a similar situation by the name of Alonzo Mourning...who can still find work after fifteen years in the league. Prove 'em wrong, Mr. Arthur!!! I'll be rooting for ya...unless you're playing the Spurs...or the Jazz because they grow on ya.

42. Sacramento - Sean Singletary - Guard from Virginia - My only mentioning specifically of the second round...because I think the Kings got a few good'uns in this point guard and also Georgetown's Patrick Ewing, jr. (#43) on back-to-back picks. Singletary reminds me of the great Mookie Blaylock and though Pat Junior isn't as tall or dominating as Pat Senior was, he's still a pretty decent role player that should fit well in the system...which is the key to most players drafted after...say pick number ten in the draft.

Anyway, that's about it on this draft. I'm sure there are more free agency, sign-and-trades, straight up trades, and stars coming from out of nowhere to come this year. I love basketball. I like to think that I know a thing or two about it...but it's all about how you play the game...and I wish all of these guys the best of luck...and congratulations on their big day. Since I'm on a sports kick today, I think I'll get a few other things out of the way...since most of you may have stopped reading already.

Becky Hammon - For those of you who don't know, Becky Hammon is an incredibly cute girl-next-door from South Dakota, who played at Colorado State, went undrafted into the WNBA, and now happens to be an amazing basketball player for the WNBA's San Antonio Silver Stars (formerly Utah Starzz...damn you Larry Miller) placing 2nd in MVP voting last year. Well, she wasn't even considered for the USA Olympic team in the upcoming Beijing Games...so she signed a big contract with CSKA Moscow (all the girls play overseas in the WNBA's offseason) and became a naturalized Russian citizen...and is going to play on their Olympic team. This apparently has caused some controversy because people (including Hall of Famer Ann Donovan) say that it's unpatriotic, all about the money, and I didn't think of it first...or something like that. I think it's great. I obviously have a bit of a crush on Becky (call me) but I honestly don't care if she wants to play for the Russian team. If she has dual citizenship & isn't breaking any rules, then I wish her nothing but the best...which would be a Silver Medal because I've got to root for the USA (Sue Bird & Diana Taurasi). Still, I think you're great...and Russia's lucky to have you...just please, please, pleeeease come back with a sexy Russian accent to go with that fantastic smile. I know you like to keep pretty elite company...but I think your friends'll like me. GO SPURS!!!

Ana Ivanovic Upset at Wimbledon - Top-seeded women's tennis player Ana Ivanovic was knocked out in the third round of Wimbledon today by 133rd-ranked Zheng Jie of China. Ivanovic, who took over the No. 1 ranking after winning the French Open earlier this month, slumped to a 6-1, 6-4 loss to the wild-card entry and doubles specialist. "It's a surprise for me," said the 24-year-old Zheng, who won the Wimbledon doubles title in 2006. "Thanks to Wimbledon, (which) gave me a wild card. I just tried my best and had to keep going, going." Now for the important part...whose shoulder is there for Ana to cry on? I'd like to offer my services Ana. Call me...or send me a plane ticket...even coach. I'm here for you. You're still amazing. Keep your head up & rest for the next tournament.

Odd thing, though I've babbled on about sports all day...and requested a few gorgeous girls to call me...but do you know who's going to call me...probably my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister-in-law, maybe Bubbles, a few text messages, and if anything...a call from one of the new draft picks...

Caller: "Yo dogg, did you say that Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo is a stupid name?"
$teve: "No, just that it's ridic...you know, maybe if I knew the context of it, it wouldn't seem so...uniquely peculiar."
The New O.J.: "Ovinton was the name of my mother's D&D elf character when she was in high school...and I love my mother very much. J'Anthony is a mix of my two grandfather & father, Jay & Anthony. What now, bitch?"
$teve: "Cool, I had a grandpa named Jay too. That's cool man. I'm sorry to criticize your name...but yeah, believe it or not, O.J. is still more marketable...and if I were CEO of Best Foods, I'd already have you selling your own special brand of mayonaisse. Hey, I'm looking into a new career, what do you think? Need another marketing guy? Are...are we cool now? Sorry about the whole name thing, I just didn't understand."
O.J.: "Yeah, we cool. Sorry dogg, I got somebody else for that stuff. They've had my back (and bills) for a few years now. Thanks though. Not just because of that stupid idea...because your brother Kevin saved me from having to end up in f**king freezing Minnesota for the next decade. Be sure to thank him for me, would ya?"
$teve: "Ugh...sure. Will do. We're ugh...tight like that."

Have a great weekend everybody!!! Pictures & stories from the Utah Arts Festival tomorrow...because today was a sports day. I only do one of these a year...so it's done now. Enjoy the next 364 or so posts. Peace!!!

6-7-08 Post

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Haven't really done much today honestly. Ran a few errands, paid a few bills, boxed up some stuff...but other than that, just sat and watched an "Ax Men" marathon on the History Channel and went for a few walks to clear my head a bit (it didn't really work...but it was still a gorgeous stroll through the neighborhood). What's on my mind? You know it. Vegas. Oh well. Still a good excuse to clean up the crib a little bit. You know, go through my extensive book collection & separate out the ones that I can pass along to others, go through my wardrobe and get rid of old clothes that are too small (because I've had them since junior high) and set them aside as packing material or donate to charity, just take an inventory of stuff that I've accumulated over the years...and just decide what to do with it now. I even took a nap because I woke up a little early. It's a nice stroll down Memory Lane at least. Looked through some old yearbooks, photo albums, and decided to finally throw away a LOT of school stuff that I had amassed over the last decade or so. Why did I keep it? Good question. Probably laziness...or thinking that it might come in handy later. As for the rest of the day, really don't have any plans...but I'm sure that I'll make some calls and see what there is to do. In the meantime, here's some news...

The Agony of Defeat - Legendary sportscaster Jim McKay died today of natural causes at the age of 86. For more than forty years, he was one of the quintessential voices of narrated athletic activity...and the voice of "The Wide World of Sports" as well as the man who broke the tragedy of the 1972 Munich Olympics. Born James McManus, this WWII veteran went from newspaper to television and covered a dozen Olympics, ending with Slick City in 2002. He will be missed.

Wonder Woman Finds a Body - The gracefully-aged Lynda Carter, actress who played Wonder Woman in the 70's TV series, was out cruising the Potomac alone in her boat Wednesday when she saw a body floating in the water. She says she didn't have a cell phone with her, so she yelled to some fishermen and asked them to call police. Carter waited until rescuers arrived and directed them to the body. DC Police (District of Columbia, not DC Comics, I checked) say that the body was identified as 47-year old Helen Johnstone and they have yet to find a cause of death. Ms. Carter says she "did what anybody would have done (only sexier)." Okay, so I added the last part...but I think this mystery calls for...the Justice League. The only thing is...imagine being the fishermen on the other boat...when you see Wonder Woman floating around in the Invisible Boat...saying "Please call the police, good citizens." "Dude, we should stop drinking before noon." Best part about this story...is that I can post this picture in some kind of context. Yay!!!

Fly Derrie-Air - Readers of The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News (GO EAGLES!!!) opened their papers Friday to see ads for a new airline called Derrie-Air, which purportedly charges passengers by the pound...but this new carrier will never get off the ground. It's a one-day advertising campaign about a fake airline by Philadelphia Media Holdings, the papers' owner, and Gyro ad agency. Spokesman Jay Devine said the goal is to "demonstrate the power of our brands in generating awareness and generating traffic for our advertisers, and put a smile on people's faces." Visitors to the airline site learn that Derrie-Air is the world's only carbon-neutral luxury airline, and it justifies its fare policy by saying that it takes more fuel to move heavier objects. The carrier pledges to plant trees to offset every pound of carbon its planes release into the atmosphere. Derrie-Air's sample rates range from $1.40 per pound to fly from Philadelphia to Chicago to $2.25 per pound to fly from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. It even has a BS backstory of owner Dick Derrie growing up in Salamander, Missouri (a city so small it won't show up on any map). Only at the bottom did it mention that this airline was "fictitious" and says it is designed "to test the results of advertising in our print and online products and to stimulate discussion on a timely environmental topic of interest to all citizens. In other words, smile, we're pulling your leg." That's not my leg...but it's okay, I charge by the pound too. Brought back memories of me & the Wingman in school...making up BS companies and making websites & products. I love marketing.

Superhottie Ivanovic Wins the French Open - Now, you know that if I'm mentioning women's tennis on my blog...that means somebody really hot won something really important, wore something really sexy, or gave me her number. Well, the last one has still yet to happen...and tennis outfits can only be so sexy with current regulations (like players MUST wear undergarments) and physics (restriction of fun pillows to allow freedom of motion in the arms). Serbian superhottie Ana Ivanovic, the new hottest girl in women's tennis (now that Martina Hingis has officially retired) won the French Open final over Darina Safina...and will probably be named the number one female tennis player in the world...finally. "I feel so happy. I have no words to describe that. Winning a Grand Slam is something I dreamed since I was a little kid, so achieving that goal is very thrilling." After winning, she blew kisses to the crowd and used a chair to climb into the stands to hug family & friends. "I tried to call them to help me to come up, but they were hugging each other," Ivanovic said with a laugh. "I was like, 'Hey, what about me?'" and $teve missed his chance for a congratulatory grope...and to help a damsel in need of assistance. If I were about 10,000 miles closer...oh well, I dropped the ball. Maybe next time. Congratulations, Ms. Ivanovic. It is Miss, right?

Here was my chance...

I could have been one of those creepy old guys

Oh, you tease...

Changing for the press conference

"Can we please wrap this up? I have to meet this $teve guy."

"OH MY!!! Ana, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I see. That is a nice dress. Mmm, very nice."

Have a great night everybody!!!

Scotty Doesn't Know!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, shortly after my last post, I got a phone call from Mrs. Wingman around 2:30 AM saying that she was in the emergency room and needed somebody to talk to. "What's going on?" Long story short, due to casino negligence (lawsuit forthcoming?), they were trapped in an elevator for over an hour with over twenty other people because the emergency buttons didn't work. They couldn't even call for help. Well, after over an hour in "Hell's 7th ring" they finally got out...but Mr. Wingman wasn't doing too good. Apparently, his speech was slurred and he was having trouble walking. They asked a paramedic if they could get a ride to a hospital...he suggested getting a taxi...and gave them directions to the hospital. So yeah, the way it was explained to me...my Wingman may have had a stroke. Not exactly a great thing to hear at 2:30 in the morning...but I talked with Mrs. Wingman and tried my best to set her at ease. I hope it really worked. I tried to go back to sleep...but it wasn't taking at first. I did get about two hours...then I started getting calls every 10-15 minutes for about three hours...so then I gave up around 10 AM. I did just find out this morning that Mr. Wingman is doing really good. He didn't have a stroke...just a bad MS attack and they should be checking out of the hospital later today if all goes well. I just wanted to get that out of the way so that you guys didn't worry like I did all day yesterday.

As discussed with the Mad Scientist, I'm pretty much done with the month of January (or year of 2008 so far). My job was briefly in jeopardy, a lot of my friends & coworkers are going to be let go, my dad's basement was flooded, my buddy went to the emergency room, friends & their children have been going in for surgery, the Spurs aren't doing so hot, just about the only thing really good was my nephew...and he spent the first week of his life in the NICU. Well, that date the other night was pretty awesome too. I know it could be a lot worse...and thank God that it wasn't...but yeah, I'm done with it. Let's hope February's a lot better. The Fortune Cookie said so.

Anyway, speaking of my nephew, I went and hung out with him and his family yesterday. My brother really wanted somebody to help him out with the kids this weekend & my sister-in-law was hanging out with my mom & aunts for a girl's day out. My niece Kairi was her usual adorable self. She was even singing along with us while playing Rock Band. Sure, she wasn't exactly making real words except for the occasional "Daddy, daddy, daddy" but it was still extremely cute. See, even when she's with my brother, she's cute.

My nephew slept most of the time...but that's good. No matter how much it frustrated my mom that she couldn't play with him. She tried to casually wake him a few times...but that kid slept through us playing Rock Band...so I'm fairly certain he can sleep through just about anything right now. I got to hold him a bit and he stared me down pretty good a few times. He eased up on me once I started feeding him. He definitely has my brother's eyes. Just a little darker blue right now...so they actually look more like mine...but yeah, he's gonna be a stud.


Let's see. We also watched "Eurotrip" which is a silly stupid movie about teenagers going across Europe. It starts out that a guy has a German penpal named Mike...and after getting dumped by his girlfriend (Kristin Kreuk), finding she's been cheating on him with a rocker Matt Damon, and getting trashed...he returns to find an email from his penpal saying how they'd like to come over and comfort him. He sends an email back saying "Keep your eyes off my junk. I don't swing that way. Etc" then when he sobers up, his little brother explains to him that Mike's apparently a girl's name in Germany. Oh...and she's hot...and she's blocked his email so he can't explain that he was trashed. What does he do? Go to his friend's email and send a message? Of course not, he goes to Europe (with the mystery bucks that he got from somewhere) with his crazy perverted friend...and twins that just happened to be there too. Okay, the plot's a bit of a stretch...but it has it's moments. I hate to admit it...but the main song "Scotty Doesn't Know" is EXTREMELY catchy and I can't wait for it to drop on Rock Band Updates.

Rock Band Updates - They may never need to make another Rock Band game if they keep adding on cool songs like "Gimme Three Steps", "All the Small Things", and some of the others that they have added on at $2 a pop. Millions have sold worldwide already...and about a dozen of them to me personally. Why would they make a new one? Maybe if they added on a keyboard? Tamborine? Washboard? Saxophone...for a Funk Band? That'd be sweet...but not coming any time soon, I would guess.

Chuck's Next Victim - James D. Brasher confessed to opening bank accounts in names similar to that of Chuck Norris' Kick Drugs Out of America Foundation. He then fraudulently endorsed checks totaling over $130,000 sent to the foundation and deposited them into his own accounts, using the money to pay his debts and living expenses. Brasher is set to be sentenced in April. He faces up to 10 years in prison, a fine of $250,000 and a three-year-term of supervised release. However, if I know Chuck Norris...and I like to think that I do...Mr. Brasher may not make it to sentencing. Justice will be served...with a mighty roundhouse kick and a alfalfa sprout garnish. Bon appetit, bitch.

$teve's New Sexiest Tennis Player - Now, that my grief over the banning & retirement of Martina Hingis has passed, I can scurry to find a new reason to watch tennis. Maria Sharapova won the Australian Open the other day...and congratulations to her...but you are not the sexiest tennis player out there. I'm sorry. I tried...and you're extremely cute...but you're just not for me. However, the woman that you beat in the Australian Open final, that is what I'm talking about...and her name is Ana Ivanovic. She's of Serbian descent, lives in Switzerland (so she speaks German), she's stunningly gorgeous, great smile, extremely fit, and her forehand smash grunt could make the late George Burns stand at attention. I think that I may have found a new reason to watch tennis. Ana, if you're looking for a good guy to ever show you around the States, shoot me an email. It'd be an honor and a priviledge...and I'll cover the check when it comes...though you made over a million dollars last year. That's also kind of hot. Anyway, enjoy the pictures...and keep an eye on your ESPN network for women's tennis. You never know when you'll get lucky.

Awesome!!! She sleeps with a tennis racket too.

Why is that apple so damn appetizing?

Here's a picture of the ceremonial plates of my

affection being presented to both Martina Hingis

and Ana Ivanovic (yes, she's taller too). However,

Ana seems to be a little confused.

"Who is this $teve guy again?"

Anyway, that's really about it for today. I've got laundry to do...then work. Who knows? Maybe I'll get bored later on or something and do one of those crazy quiz things. I'm also hungry. I'll go take care of that...and I'm sure that you're hanging on every word that I'm saying right now...so let me know what's going on in your deck of the woods...and have a great night. I know I will. Peace!!!