Help Me Help You, Ladies!!!

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

You know, I've been puzzled for the last few days. However, before I go further, I want to warn you that the discussion for the first two paragraphs gets a little...unusual, especially for my blog. Some of the things discussed may make your stomach a little queezy and I may not use politically correct language...but it's only because I'm pretty much ignorant on the subject...as you will soon find out. Wow, I make it sound a lot worse than it is...but don't say that I didn't warn ya. Definitely do not read the next little bit of your sitting at your computer reading this & eating something. You see...the past few days a few of the ladies that I speak with on a regular basis have been Menstrating. I know, it's a touchy subject for both genders...but I'm just trying to learn. The longest that I've had a girlfriend is three months...and I had no sisters growing up...and my mom didn't talk to me about this stuff...and is now in menopause...so yeah, I have very little experience with regards to menstration other than women get mysteriously & extremely irritable (to put it lightly) on a monthly basis.

Being the curious little monkey that I am, I decided that it was finally time for me to not Fear the crabbiness, cramping, bleeding, mood swings, temporary insanity, physical drainage, emotional baggage, social awkwardness, and all the other stuff mentioned on those damned commercials that I see all the time...and try to get myself a little educated on the subject. So I've been asking a few questions about it...directly from the source. Why? I want to know what I can do as a guy to help out & make you feel better. I mean...what helps? Back rub? Scented candles? A few kind words? Garlic pills? Dirty limericks? A nap? Or do I just give you some chocolate ice cream and get the hell away? From the people that I've asked, it's usually the last one...but then something unexpected was mentioned. I realize that there's a rushing of hormones involved with menstation...but I was told that sometimes the ladies just want a good ol' rogering...and it makes sense...sort of. Hormones rushing, take your time, lay it down proper, she nods off, hormones & headaches subside, endorphines are running wild. Yet for some reason, I always thought that the cramping thing would be an issue for her...and the blood might be for me. I'm not going to lie. I would probably freak out...a lot...but there are ways around that to make you feel better. Also, the mess involved...I don't know, maybe this isn't a usual thing. Like I said, I'm just starting to find out this stuff. Anyway, my question is this...what is it that you ladies want us to do when it's that time of the month? How can we help? I have a feeling that a lot of guys out there want to know...yet just don't want to ask the awkward questions. Well, I've gone beyond that, I think. Please, let us know how we can help you. I'm extremely curious now...and I want to inform others. Help me help you, ladies.

Last night after work, I watched the movie "Cellular" with Chris Evans, Kim Basinger (hotchuma hotchuma), Jason Statham, and William H. Macy. It was a surprisingly good flick the first time I saw it...and it didn't disappoint this time either. It's about a lady who's kidnapped from her home (Basinger by Statham) and she doesn't know why. Somehow, she manages to dial a random number on a broken phone...and a teenager answers (Evans). He thinks that it's a prank at first...but then realizes it's not and tries to go to the police (Macy) but a series of events gets in the way...and now he has to try to find her, save the rest of her family, get help, and save the day...all before the battery & his plan minutes run out. Oh yeah, Jessica Biel's in it for a few brief glorious moments too. Anyway, car chases, suspense, funny moments, intrigue, twists & turns, and William H. Macy turns out to be a badass...who wants to open a day spa. Great flick. Check it out. Now, here's the news...

Everybody's a Winner!!! - A brothel in Nevada is trying to stimulate business by offering free gas cards to cover the costs of driving there from Vegas. Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 (worth about one hour's worth of services) at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, which is about 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas. Owner James Davis said he already has had to order another $1,000 set of petrol vouchers because the first $1,000 were spent in one week. "It's rocking along. We're doing quite well. June and July historically are not big months." Great for them. It's a great idea that stimulates business for them...tapping directly into the millions of people in Las Vegas. Fill 'er up...then get some gas. I like it a lot. By the way, you all know that prostitution is legal in some parts of Nevada, right? Not Vegas...but other counties...like this one about two hours away. If you didn't know that, you may be wondering why this is on the news & nobody's doing anything about it. Oh...and I like that James runs the business with his wife Bobbi, who came up with the idea. Just goes to show, behind every great man is a woman giving him ideas. Kudos!!!

Baby Names Update - The 1960s brought us baby names such as April and Sunshine, and naming new Americans has never been the same. So when Sunday Rose Kidman Urban was born this week, the baby of an actress (Nicole Kidman) and a country western singer (Keith Urban), news of her distinctive name created only a small stir. While many parents still stick with traditional names, U.S. babies now are tagged with an ever-increasing diversity of names for which the inspirations range from the calendar to languages from afar to colors to fruit to movie, literary, & video game characters to states to acronyms to stuff that can only be characterized as throwing random letters together & low-level child cruelty. The top 10 baby names from 1950 look nothing like today. Here's the list from 1950, according to the U.S. Social Security Administration:

Most popular boy/girl baby names in 1950:


1. James / Linda
2. Robert / Mary
3. John / Patricia
4. Michael / Barbara
5. David / Susan
6. William / Nancy
7. Richard / Deborah
8. Thomas / Sandra
9. Charles / Carol
10. Gary / Kathleen


Here's the list from last year:


1. Jacob / Emily
2. Michael / Isabella
3. Ethan / Emma
4. Joshua / Ava
5. Daniel / Madison
6. Christopher / Sophia
7. Anthony / Olivia
8. William / Abigail
9. Matthew / Hannah
10. Andrew / Elizabeth


The diversity in U.S. baby names has exploded since the 1950s. Back then, a quarter of all boys and girls got one of the top 10 baby names. In recent times, the top 10 names account for only one tenth of all baby names. Laura Wattenberg's blog has an interactive tool that displays the historical popularity of thousands of names from the 1880s to now, if you're interested. Looking at the 50's names, I see a lot of my aunts & uncles (five uncles, three aunts, & my mom) and from last year...not so much. Apparently, Michael & William are still popular a half-century later...but that's about it. Anyway, I like diversity in names (as my proposed names for my offspring would suggest) so keep 'em coming. It's just interesting how the trends go...like celebrities naming their kids ridiculous stuff...but it's their choice...until the kid grows up. "You named me APPLE? What the f**k, mom? Dad, where were you?" "I was on tour. I wanted to name you Joshua. I heard about it on the tellie myself."


Anyway, that'll do it for today. Another big day at work that I'm convincing myself to stay the whole day...no matter what...but we'll see if my willpower prevails. Also got a job description for that new prospect...and it looks pretty good. I'll keep you posted. Have a great day everybody!!! What number are you?

You Are 7: The Enthusiast

You are outgoing and playful - always seeing the happy side to life. You're enthusiastic and excitable. You love anything new. Multi-talented, you do many things well... and find success easy. You prefer to keep things light with others. Opening up is hard for you. At Your Best: You are deeply involved in each experience. You appreciate life for what it is, and you take the time to enjoy each moment. At Your Worst: You are greedy, self centered, impulsive, and insatiable. Your Fixation: Gluttony Your Primary Fear: Deprivation and pain Your Primary Desire: To be satisfied and content Other Number 7's: Howard Stern, Cameron Diaz, Robin Williams, Jim Carey, and Jenny Mccarthy.

What Number Are You?

Congrats to Soulshakers!!!

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Guess what. I won some kick-ass concert tickets today courtesy of KBER 101 to go see Coheed & Cambria at Saltair. The only problem is...I'll be in Spain when they're performing. No problem though. I found somebody who was willing to take them off my hands. They'd enjoy more than I would anyway. To be perfectly honest, I've heard of Coheed & Cambria...but I couldn't pick them out of a lineup or name a single song that they do. I hear they're good though. Thanks KBER!!! Now, how about a job as a late night disc jockey? However, I have even BIGGER music news...


Congratulations to Spitsofrantic & Soulshakers Entertainment!!!


The other day they won the second round of the Bodog Battle of the Bands in beautiful Las Vegas. They have moved onto the next round and are competing for one million dollars with the best bands in the western United States. If you're interested, their next battle will be on November 26th at the lovely Cheyenne Saloon in Las Vegas. Want free tickets? I can hook you up or you can contact them through this Spitsofrantic link. Support the Soulshakers Music Revolution!!!


Also in music news, on a much sadder note, the last member of the infamous Rat Pack has passed away. Joey Bishop has rejoined his legendary troupe of entertainers (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, and Sammy Davis, jr.) in what I can only assume is the swinginest shindig in all of Heaven at the tender age of 89. He was referred to as "the hub of the big wheel" by Sinatra when talking about the Rat Pack and was widely regarded as the comic relief in the routine. Being a wiseass and bit of a crooner in a hip-hop world, this is kind of a sad day for me...but my heart goes out to his family & friends. Anyway, that's really all I wanted to say. Rest in peace playa!!!


Toilet Scare - You all thought I was crazy last week when I told you about my tendency to put the toilet seat down because of the fear of green Ghoulie monsters crawling up and biting my ass while I did paperwork...well, who's crazy now? A Brooklyn woman named Nadege Brunacci was washing her hands Monday when she noticed a SEVEN FOOT PYTHON in her toilet. The 38-year old restauranteur "turned on the light and screamed" upon the sight, threw the lid down, set a heavy box (convenientally located in her bathroom?) on the lid, and called for help. Later, she gave the python to a friend who kept it and named it after her. Does anybody know how to correct pronounce Nadege? Na-dej? Na-de-ge? Na-di-gi? Anyway, so the threat really is out there, however unlikely it may seem. Check before you sit, when you're going to s**t. Jesus, a seven-footer too. Oh yeah, nobody knows how it got there either. If another one shows up though, that's a sign to move out. That's like one of the first stages before Satan himself shows up at your front door...and he ain't delivering pizza.


More Giant Reptiles - In Argentina, scientists have discovered what they believe to be the skeleton of a new 105-foot plant-eating dinosaur that they have named Futalognkosaurus Dukei after the Mapuche Indian words for "giant" and "chief" and for the Duke Energy Argentina company that financed the dig. I've always been a big dinosaur nerd...ever since I was a kid...so I just thought that I'd share that with you. I also thought that the name was kind of hilarious, Futalognkosaurus (FOO-ta-long-koh-SOHR-us). I wouldn't expect it to show up in the next Jurassic Park movie as a threat to Sam Neill...but dinosaurs are cool...so there. If you're interested in more, there's a link.


Untouchables Prequel - Ladies & Gentlemen, I am super excited about the possibility of a big budget prequel to the 1987 classic "The Untouchables" being planned by director Brian DePalma (original, "Scarface", "Carlito's Way", "Black Dahlia", etc.) and already titled as "The Untouchables: Capone Rising." The story will detail the relationship between Jimmy Malone (Sean Connery's character in the original) and Al Capone (Robert DeNiro). Who's going to star in this movie? Well, Gerard Butler ("300") is locked to play Jimmy Malone but Al Capone is still undecided. Originally, everybody's favorite Nicolas Cage was interested...but has backed out, possibly to play Fu Manchu in Rob Zombie's "Werewolf Women of the SS" (hopefully). So the question arises, who will play the young Al Capone? I have no idea. I've tried to think of a few...but you need someone who can match the intensity of Gerard Butler...and Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro are just too damn old. My vote - Edward Norton. However, he can do any movie that he wants, so why a prequel? Let me know what you think...and I'll see if I can convince Mr. DePalma. Also, check out the original "Untouchables" with Robert Stack ("Unsolved Mysteries" and "Baseketball").


Barbarella Remake? - One of the best bad movies of all times is the 1968 Jane Fonda psychedelic sci-fi movie "Barbarella" which influenced everything in modern culture from the development of my own Orgazmatron to the naming of the legendary group Duran Duran. However, rumor has it that a remake of this classic stands in limbo (I didn't even know it was a possibility). Allegedly, the project was offered to moviemaking supergod Robert Rodriguez who insisted on casting the lead actress as his fiance Rose McGowan (both worked on "Planet Terror") but the studio and producer Dino DeLaurentiis ("Conan" movies) don't think that she could carry the movie. Rodriguez insists though, so they're at a standstill. Moviemaking seems like a pretty stubborn business. That's why I want to make no-budget blockbusters like "Napoleon Dynamite" only funny. Or "Blair Witch Project" only scary. I'll keep my fingers crossed for the "Barbarella" remake...but as with all remakes, it's probably not a bad idea to just go see the original. Which reminds me, I'd better add "Untouchables" & "Barbarella" to my Blockbuster Queue. Any suggestions on who else might play Barbarella? Jessica Alba? Scarlett Johannsen? Lindsay Lohan? Does it really matter?


Since I've received some criticism that I talk too much about sports, I'm going to call that a day. Join me next time when I talk about...stuff and other such related stuff.

Scary Movies...sort of

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Okay, so Saturday, the trip to Lagoon was cancelled due to weather. No biggie, I was there six days earlier...and half the girls going aren't very dependable anyway (I kinda dated one) so I hate to say it...but I wasn't surprised. The weather was bad too. That may have been the final factor...but no harm. I still hung out with my buddy K because we were the two that actually showed up...and we just watched some Family Guy and stupid movies. Well, one stupid movie...but it had Stephen Dorff in it...when he was thirteen but looked ten or so. It's called "The Gate" (1987) and it was sold to me as one of the stupidest 80's horror flicks ever...so I was sold...and it didn't disappoint. Kids accidentally stumble upon a hole in their backyard that unleashes demons...and the hilarity ensues. It was pretty lame...but quite entertaining. I suggest watching it with friends...and making fun of it the whole time. If that's not what cheesy horror movies are for, I'm not sure why they're made. K shared with me that she was really scared of this movie when it came out...and she was like four years old or something. Then I shared that I was scared of the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video (true) and that led to a common denominator...we were both afraid of the movie "Ghoulies" though we had never seen it. Why? This poster.

This poster (viewed when I was two years old at the video rental area at my local gas station) set me back a few months in my potty training...and still causes me to put the toilet seat down after use. For God's sake, it even says that "They'll Get You in the End." I know what you ladies are thinking, "Ah, he puts the seat down. Why isn't he married?" Probably because I keep a 9mm next to the spare toilet paper for the same reason. If I feel something nibbling on my backside while I'm dropping the kids off at the pool, they're having a little side of lead with their rump roast. Seriously though, I'm over it...and she's over her fear of this movie too. That's what counts. Oh...and I watched "Ghoulies" for the first time about six months ago...and it's insanely stupid. Worst part - No monsters out of the Crapper (in honor of Sir Thomas Crapper). I have yet to see the sequels...

Speaking of movie I hadn't watched, after "The Gate" we watched "Labyrinth" with David Bowie and a jailbait Jennifer Connelly. I had only seen a minute here & a minute there flipping through channels before...and it was actually a pretty good show. I love Muppets...and Jennifer Connelly...and it had plenty of both. I thought that David Bowie was pretty cool too...but not because of the bulge in his leotard like K...but because of the cool tricks with the crystal balls. I'm telling ya, I's gots to learn this magic. That's why the ladies love him really. Forget quarterbacks and longball hitters, Magicians get all the chicks. Anyway, if you're surprised that I had never seen "Labyrinth" before, here's another list of popular movies that I've never seen...either just out of the lack of opportunity or just no strong will to see. You decide.

• Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Any Woody Allen movie
• Most horror sequels (Friday the 13th, etc.)
• The Breakfast Club
• The first three Harry Potter movies
• Most CGI kids shows since "Finding Nemo"
• Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan movies that don't end in "Volcano"
• Good Will Hunting
• Any movie where dancing is implied and there's not a brass pole on the poster
• Julia Roberts stars in _______
• Love Story
• I passed on Pearl Harbor after the 1st disc (I read the book at school)

Today, I went to my dad's and we had a little family time together. My brother and his family (with both nieces) showed up as well as my stepsister and my nephew Canon. We laughed, had Colosimo's Brats, watched the Patriots / Cowboys game (What was the popcorn for T.O.? BIIIIIITCH!!! Sorry for the outburst.). I hate to say it. The Patriots may go undefeated...barring injury as always. I'm a devoted Eagles fan (they won #2 today) but I can't argue with the stats and lineup. The question has been asked "How can you beat the Patriots?" and my response is with another question, "Who's Tom Brady's backup? Because then you might have a chance if they're in the game." Damn charming, talented s'mbich...but one question, who do you think is more honored in this picture? Brady or the Pope?

Where was I? Oh yeah, so we hung out as a family and my nieces and nephew love me. I'm a cool uncle. It's all good. When everybody left, my dad & I watched "Death Proof" and he loved it. Again, if you haven't seen the movie, check it out. Now, I just saw the Boise State Broncos win a 4OT college football game 69-67. That's not a football score. Not even on Madden. Believe it or not, the game ended on a defensive play. That's about it. Nothing more to really talk about today, I guess. My family rocks. Now, K and her friends are trying to convince me to go to Lagoon in a few weeks...and I'm skeptical to go out of my way. Understandable, right? Thought so. Now to end the blog off with a bang...

Ah look, Sarah grew up...

Favorite Fears - Part 2 (E-G)

As part of my ongoing quest to help myself & others overcome their fears. Here's more of my favorites...and ones that I just found very interesting.

Ecclesiophobia - Fear of Church - What could possibly be scary about a meeting of townspeople where they hum monotonic ritual odes between sitting in silence while surrounded by statues of a tortured man on a crucifix & his very sad mother??? If you truly want to have a holy experience...listen to Charlotte Church sing. Just look at her. It is as if an angel were sent to Earth to sing Christmas Songs.

Editophobia - Fear of being Edited or Deleted - Does this count with regards to plastic surgery? Is this like a fear of change? Or is it more like the ever present fear of that Hitman in the bushes finally striking? I know he's there. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???

Eisoptrophobia - Fear of Mirrors or of Seeing Oneself in a Mirror - Not a prevalent fear of Vampires...but definitely with regards to homely people like me. You wake up in the morning, a little groggy & disoriented. Suddenly there's a gigantic monster waiting for you in the bathroom as you flip on the light switch, "AAAAGH!!! Jesus Chr...oh...it's me again. Damn it!!! Every time."

Eleutherophobia - Fear of Freedom - I thought this was just something referred to in a good Nicholas Cage movie (see "Con Air") but apparently it's real.

Ernetophobia - Fear of Vomiting - One of my least favorite things to do & why I keep my consumption in moderation. I can understand this phobia.

Enetophobia - Fear of Pins - I'm convinced this is why some girls don't like bowling. However, notice that the only difference in the spelling of this phobia from the last is the letter R, which stands for Ralph. Think about it.

Enissophobia - Fear of Criticism - I enjoy criticism...because I'll listen to you...but that doesn't mean that I'm going to change. I always like to see things from a different perspective or angle though (as opposed to always from the gutter or a bird's eye view) so please, criticize all you would like.

Eosophobia - Fear of Dawn or Daylight - Why do Vampires always get brought into my fear discussion? Weird, huh? I have a fear of Daylight myself...and if you've ever seen that Sylvester Stallone movie, you would agree with me.

Epistolophobia - Fear of Writing Letters - This is why the internet was invented. Honestly, who writes letters by hand now? Grandparents? Whatever happened to Pen Pals? I had one...back in the 3rd grade. Then the internet became popular so I have friends in other states...but that's about it. Maybe I should send my Italian friends Matteo & Virginia a message. Oddly enough, I think they live in Ireland now...and say that it's beautiful & green & the people are very nice...but they say it sarcastically.

Equinophobia & Hippophobia - Fear of Horses - Little known fact, Hippopotamus is Greek or Latin for "River Horse" and they kill more Africans than any other animal (lions, tigers, bears, oh my). Hungry hungry hippos indeed.

Ergophobia - Fear of Work - Have you done your ergonomics today? "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I...I just...I'm just afraid to come to work today." "Oh, don't be scared....you're fired. Take the rest of the week off."

Erotophobia - Fear of Sexual Love or Sexual Questions - "Oh, you mean Cloitus?" Some parents really fear this stuff...but please don't. Think of it this way. Would you like to tell them about the Birds & the Bees (whatever that means) or some teacher getting paid twenty grand a year to tell kids about history...but only up until World War II??? Or better yet, their friends??? Think about it. If all else fails, let Dr. Mookie Love tell them about it.

Eurotophobia - Fear of Female Genitalia - "Claire, this is always hard to say...especially to a friend...but we're hear to kill your vagina!!!" "Don't you dare." "Sorry Foxy, but that thing is dead meat...curtains!!!" Season two of Drawn Together comes out on July 10th!!!

Fearaphobia & Fearophobia - Fear of Developing Fears - Does it seem redundant to anybody else?

Frigophobia - Fear of Cold Objects - "Is that a bear in my Frigidaire??? I think it is...and he's eating MY porridge...and drinking MY BEER!!! HONEY, GET MY GUN!!!"

Gamophobia - Fear of Marriage - Hmm, I would have thought fear of Game...but my lady friends tell me about men having this fear. Let me break it down for you ladies. It's like my Grandma used to tell me, "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?" and yes, she was a farmer.

Geliophobia - Fear of Laughter - Laughter is my heroin. I can't understand this one at all.

Geniophobia - Fear of Chins - Suggestions: Stay out of China & Milwaukee.

Gerontophobia - Fear of Old People or Growing Old - I worked some community service hours at a home for the elderly (long story not involving criminal activity) and it is there were I learned that Old People can be a valuable resource or knowledge & experience...but not all of them. Some just give you evil stares, nonsensical gibberish, vulgar comments, & a rank mess to clean up. There's a reason that people are paid to watch those Old People...and it's truly a noble & valiant profession in my opinion. My hat's off to them.

Globophobia - Fear of Balloons - I wonder if my friend that's afraid of Clowns is also afraid of Balloons. I'll have to ask. I wonder if Balloon animals & Hot Air Balloons are included in this phobia. "I'm sorry, baby. Here, I got you a bouquet, some balloons, and a Teddy Be..." "AAAAAAGH!!!" "Oh my God, I'm sorry. Is it the Bear?"

Graphophobia - Fear of Writing or Handwriting - This may be why there's a fear of writing letters. Perhaps this is a subconscious fear bestilled upon us by Bill Gates & Paul Allen in an effort to abolish literacy & make us all their serfs. Conspiracy of the Day? Yes, I think so.

Gymnophobia & Nudophobia - Fear of Nudity - I wonder if ALL my Favorite Fear emails will end with some fear about me bearing my naked body. That would be sweet.


Anyway, as always, I'm glad to help you all overcome your fears...so feel free to let the Doctor know how he can help. Have a great night & tune in tomorrow...when I discuss the NBA Draft & other various thoughts.

Today's Fortune Cookie from Pei Wei - "You will be thankful for the pleasures of the coming months." As some of you may know, I'm kind of a fanatic about fortune cookies (American invention, not used in China) and I usually take their optimistic messages whole heartedly. In fact, you might say that I'm Optimist Prime...like my balloon friend a few inches above this line. An interesting little nugget of information, a few hours after receiving this message, I re-entered the Singles Market. What does that mean? Just wait & see what sinful pleasures I will be thankful for in the coming months...and I do mean that as a double entendre. Wish me luck!!! Peace!!!

Favorite Fears - Part 1 (A-D)

Call me an Oxy-Moron if you will, but here are a list of some of my favorite fears...and some that I didn't even know really existed until I visited http://www.blifaloo.com/info/phobias.php.

Agateophobia, Dementophobia, & Maniaphobia - Fear of Insanity - I live in constant fear of becoming insane...and it doesn't help at all. It's inebidabo. "What was that?" Inebidabo. "One more time." INEBIDABO, things are inebidabry going to change. Geez, open your f**king ears. (Brownie points)

Alektorophobia - Fear of Chickens - How ironic is it to be chicken of Chickens?

Alliumphobia - Fear of Garlic - Vampires beware!!! For your fear has a name!!!

Allodoxophobia - Fear of Opinions - "I thought that the English Patient was rather..." "AAAAAAGH!!!" "Okay, nevermind."

Ambulophobia, Stasibasiphobia, & Stasiphobia - Fear of Standing or Walking - Rory Calhoun surely didn't have this fear. (Brownie points for anybody else who gets the reference)

Anthrophobia & Anthophobia - Fear of Flowers - How would you like to find this one out on a first date? "Hi, I'm $teve. Here, I got you some..." "AAAAAGH!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"

Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of Peanut Butter sticking to the roof of your mouth - Yup, I really don't need to say much about that one.

Atelophobia - Fear of Imperfection - Man, do I feel sorry for those who suffer from this.

Aurophobia - Fear of Gold - Just an interesting one to me.

Autophobia - Fear of one's self - Wow!!! That could be tricky.

Bogyphobia - Fear of bogies or the bogeyman - "AAAAGH Boogeyman!!! Bart, I don't want to alarm you...but there may be a boogeyman...or boogeyMEN in the house."

Caligynephobia & Venustraphobia - Fear of Beautiful Women - Does this include fear of what you might do around beautiful women? I may have a mild case of this one. (Please disregard the earlier blog where I grabbed Angelina Jolie's breast. That was an isolated incident...unlike the fact that she's the most pictured person on MY blog. Weird, huh?)

Chaetophobia, Trichopathophobia, & Trichophobia - Fear of Hair - The source of all hippie violence.

Chinophobia - Fear of Chinese people & customs - Though I can't wait to go back to China, as you may have realized, I do have a little fear. They're just TOO NICE. They have to be planning something.

Cherophobia - Fear of Gaiety - Define gaiety in this sense.

Coitophobia & Genophobia - Fear of Coitus - Public Service Announcement: Everybody should see the Big Lebowski.

Coulrophobia - Fear of Clowns - Have you SEEN Stephen King's IT???

Cypridophobia & Cyprianophobia - Fear of Prostitutes or Venereal Disease - You all should be afraid!!! Unless of course you have better judgement. Just say no.

Decidophobia - Fear of Making Decisions - I'm not sure that I like this one.

Defecaloesiophobia - Fear of Painful Bowel Movements - Beto's Spicy Chicken Burrito. Face your fear!!!

Dishabiliophobia - Fear of Undressing in Front of Someone - NOT ME!!! Thank you God/genetics...and Ab Roller 3000.

Anyway, that's enough for now. There are many, many more...but I'm tired of typing right now. I'm a strong believer in facing your fears, so if any of you would like to overcome them, please let me know & I'll do what I can to help. Sometimes, all you need is a little support. Have a great day!!! Kenzie, I hope you feel better soon.